Exercise Funny Status Messages

   if swimming is great exercise, explain whales to me?

   No need to get in shape for me. At work, I get enough exercise by jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down the boss, knifing co-workers in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck! 

   it's very important to exercise as we get older. my uncle started walking 5 miles a day when he was 65. today he's 90 and we haven't a sweet jesus clue where he is.

   Exercise programme: Take one Weetabix. Take an Aero chocolate bar.Crumble the Aero over the Weetabix. Voila. Aerobix.

   I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping: 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size

   All those exercise videos are worthless, I bought and watch them over and over and not lost one lb

   Exercise makes you look better naked, so does tequila. Perhaps it's time to try both....

   My signature move is walking past all the ladies in the gym with my chest puffed out before using all of the exercise equipment incorrectly.

   The Land of the Free but don't exercise your freedoms because that's not patriotic.

   Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

   Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

   We buried our grandad with his exercise bike – he’s spinning in his grave.

   trainer at gym: do you exercise outside of here? me remembering it was windy in the parking lot: some resistance training

   The only exercise some people ever get is: running their mouths, jumping to conclusions & pushing their luck.

   You know you have been married too long when the only heavy breathing going on in the bedroom is when someone uses the exercise equipment.

   getting enough exercise pushing her limits

   Oh.... you wanted a "Fidget" spinner. *Tells 4'8" guy he and his exercise bike can go home.

   Some people are so lazy, they would actually quit having sex if someone just told them its a good form of exercise

   Getting exercise by marching is Trump's new healthcare plan . What an idiot

   If you don’t know the right way to bend your knees and lower yourself for exercise purposes then you don’t know squat.