love Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Ladies, don't believe the magazines. Men don't like skinny women who starve themselves. They love women who are pretty & starve themselves.
←Rate | 02-10-2013 12:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to murder someone: tell them you love them so much, and then go on to forget about their existence.
←Rate | 06-01-2013 05:42 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love to eat Bran Flakes in the morning. I guess i'm just a regular girl.
←Rate | 02-17-2010 03:55 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Wendy's, I so love your delicious, frozen treat called the Frosty. May I make a suggestion? Instead of a plastic straw, could you please substitute this with a bamboo straw? I'm tired of the plastic straws collapsing on me.
←Rate | 04-23-2010 17:52 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are the normal ( . )( . ), the silicone ( + )( + ), the perfect (o)(o) Some are cold (^)(^) and some belong to grandmothers \./\./ And let's not forget the very large (o why o), the very small (.)(.) and the asymmetrical (•)(.) We love them all!
←Rate | 04-07-2011 07:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are like a deck of cards. You need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to bash his head in with... and a spade to bury him with.
←Rate | 11-16-2010 18:33 by Danni V Sable Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me just take care of all of this reposting I have to do at once? My life is wonderful, I hate cancer, I donated to Haiti, I support our troops, I love my Mom,I`m from Everett,Hugs and smiles to to you,I won`t join your farmville, I won`t be answering
←Rate | 01-26-2010 07:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Problem is people confuse LOVE with BUSINESS. If you are with her because she gives the best BJs and she is with you because you pay all her bills then thats not a LOVE affair, that's just a BUSINESS arrangement.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 03:24 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I love Justin Beiber" Hey Jeff, eat a Snickers, you're gay when youre hungry
←Rate | 07-03-2012 19:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont make love, I slam women like a fridge door with no beer in it.
←Rate | 04-18-2013 18:38 Comments (1)  


   messageicon How to politely answer to an insult: "I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as good as nature did..."
←Rate | 06-04-2013 17:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, if your dating profile includes the phrase “must love cats”, you should buy the long term membership…
←Rate | 08-28-2012 11:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI....If you are one of those who like the strong silent type....then you're gonna just love my farts!!
←Rate | 09-23-2016 05:10 by guest-TJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok straight up, ladies. I love and respect all of you, but you all know how you can be when you're PMS'n. Do we really want a woman for president. I rest my case ! ! !
←Rate | 10-10-2016 01:07 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Falling in love is like getting drunk. you wake up with a horrible hangover, swearing that you'll never drink again ;-)*
←Rate | 07-27-2010 04:11 by roN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe in love at first sight which is why I quit looking homeless people in the eyes. Just can't risk it.
←Rate | 07-30-2010 14:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon  As much as I love butter spray bottles it just makes me want Bacon spray bottles." I'd put that $hit on everything "
←Rate | 01-05-2012 22:44 by T-Tibbetts Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your boyfriend answers your text while playing Call of Duty, he doesn't love you. He just died on the game.
←Rate | 09-04-2013 20:54 by @RonnieChapman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men, just because she loves your c ock doesn't mean she's in love with u
←Rate | 12-12-2012 15:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would it change the way you feel about me if I admitted that I have a special love for the BeeGees?
←Rate | 02-03-2011 18:38 by kgen Comments (0)  




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