santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   A recent study found that the possibly of work place violence increases significantly when someone puts Christmas music on the office radio in mid-November.

   Lets all say a prayer for Bill Clinton after watching the Monica interview his holidays will suck

   Don't worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas. You should worry about what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving. Have a Happy Thanksgiving. :-)

   Never buy my grandchildren's christmas presents in november. They really seem fun...and Christmas is in more than a month...oh what the heck: I have to try them. It's party time!

   A Nightmare on Elm Street is a Christmas movie. Freddy wears a red and green sweater, and gives parents the gift of taking away their crippling financial burden.

   Just for the record: If your single and planning on asking me out this close to Christmas the only thing you'll be getting from me is a book, which will be do back at the libary just after the new years.

   There are four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus 3) You are Santa Claus 4) You look like Santa Claus

   "Wow, Santa! Have you lost some weight? And have you been working out? I can sure tell...Because you look great for your age!" Rudolph The Brown Nose Reindeer

   Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people which is perfectly understandable.

   My children want a cat for Christmas ... Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it can make them happy!

   "Baby it's cold outside" is bad because it's about a guy is trying to get laid. "Santa Baby" is ok because it's about a girl trying to screw Santa. Got it.

   I believe in Santa! but I'm not so sure if he believes in me?

   "So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" The start of a John Lennon song, or the wife about to start an argument?

   FOUR STAGES OF A MANS LIFE : 1. You believe in santa. 2. You don't believe in santa. 3. You are santa. 4. You look like santa.

   Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family I'm a gift!!

   I like it when my wife makes Christmas shopping easy. This year she said she wants a gun, Duct tape, some rope, and a large sturdy bag. Can't wait to see what she gets me!

   Have yourself a merry little christmas sounds pretty condescending - Jennifer Lopez

   Any tree can be a Christmas tree if you yell at your family around it.

   If you like christmas so much why don’t you merry it

   My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1985.