Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Love is when two intelligent minds come together and become dumb.
←Rate | 01-06-2015 11:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't post pics of my girl and me on social media for a good reason. What if someone calls her ugly and I have to dump her?
←Rate | 12-28-2014 08:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 5 "Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 09:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear New Year New Me People; You don't have to wait for the New Year to get your sh*t together and become a better person.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [wife yelling at me as I wash dishes] "keith I'm fkn sick of you pretending to be a doctor" [turns tap off using my elbow] what do you mean?
←Rate | 12-26-2014 10:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't have any girl to spoil for Christmas this year so my bank balance is looking healthy.
←Rate | 12-26-2014 07:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just sneezed alcohol onto a candle and started a fire.
←Rate | 12-25-2014 12:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Horoscope: Yes she got all your texts.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One day girl, all those flashing lights and sirens will be for us.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone called me lazy today I almost objected.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's still so much I have to unlearn.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 23:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd love to come to your holiday party and stare at my phone all night.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 13:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After enough vodka shots, a toddler bed is actually quite comfortable.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 12:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone thinks they're incapable of committing murder until they see uncleared time on the microwave.
←Rate | 12-16-2014 09:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
←Rate | 12-15-2014 08:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I’m done paying for studio time
←Rate | 12-14-2014 03:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
←Rate | 12-14-2014 03:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am so thankful and grateful that out of all the planets in the universe, we live on one with pizza and vodka.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 07:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman will type "I'm fine" while she is crying.
←Rate | 12-12-2014 01:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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