Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Spray tans, for those who can't get a real tan because they think the sun shines out of their ass.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 17:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good relationship is not without struggle – it's knowing how to struggle.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 18:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't reply to your text because I never got it. I also didn't like some of the things it said.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 18:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday,.. that better not be your ugly ass I see peeking around the corner!
←Rate | 06-02-2013 20:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Mslim stopped me in the street and asked me for my thoughts on Muhammad, Allah and the Qur'an. I said, "He's probably the greatest boxer who ever lived, and I don't give a f*ck what car he drove.
←Rate | 06-02-2013 18:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes 17 muscles to smile but it only takes 1 finger to show the world how you feel.
←Rate | 05-30-2013 18:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
←Rate | 05-30-2013 17:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon My friend told me, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." So I hit him with a dictionary on his head - that showed him.
←Rate | 05-30-2013 17:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was driving the other day and I didn't stop at a stop sign, A police car pulled me over and a police man got out and asked "Did you see that stop sign?" Apparently I shouldn't have said "Yeah, but I didn't see you."
←Rate | 05-29-2013 14:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I'm admiring my good looks from a car's window reflection and the people inside think I'm staring at them.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 23:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your ex will leave you, talk bad about you, act like they never knew you, miss you, hit you up and wonder why you don't reply... F*CK YOU
←Rate | 05-28-2013 22:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t understand why some people are SO obsessed about having friends…. Last time I checked caskets didn’t come with bunk beds…. f*ck em.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 22:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drake music be having you missing somebody else's ex.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 22:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon 99 problems.... but a blessing will come.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 22:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fake eyelashes are okay if they look natural, but some of you women look like you gonna take flight if you blink too fast.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 22:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish a girl would invite me in her house and not give me that ass.... B*tch I'm slamming doors, banging pots and blowing the horn when I leave.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 22:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Asshole meets good girl → F*cks her over → She turns into a b*tch → She meets a good guy → F*cks him over → He turns into an asshole ↺
←Rate | 05-28-2013 22:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ghetto people are always naming their kids after stuff they cant afford: Mercedes, Diamond, Bentley, Pearl, Light Bill, Rent, Car Insurance.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 21:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking of getting a tattoo saying, "I'll regret this one day"
←Rate | 05-26-2013 12:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just seen someone update their status on Facebook to "I Wish Every Guy Was Like Jack From The Titanic." What... Dead at the bottom of the ocean?
←Rate | 05-26-2013 12:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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