MWC Funny Status Messages



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Page: 7 of 13

   messageicon "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" The doctor says, "It's Not Unusual."
←Rate | 04-21-2013 19:41 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I traded in my wife's piano for a clarinet. You can't sing while playing a clarinet.
←Rate | 04-21-2013 19:32 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
←Rate | 04-21-2013 18:19 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found out the big difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
←Rate | 04-21-2013 18:12 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people think I'm quiet, others wish I was.
←Rate | 04-21-2013 15:40 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now who is running a MARATHON?
←Rate | 04-19-2013 10:33 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stopped talking back to the voices in my head, and now they’ve started texting me…
←Rate | 04-18-2013 18:18 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to make a woman go mmmmmmm all nite long? …………………….. with Duct Tape
←Rate | 04-18-2013 18:10 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like I have my cranky pants pulled all the way up to my armpits!
←Rate | 04-18-2013 13:53 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon what happens when a idiot can't get a gun and wants to make a scene?
←Rate | 04-15-2013 19:30 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep the dream alive.....Hit the snooze button 6 times
←Rate | 04-14-2013 10:09 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies; Go bra less, it takes the wrinkles out of your face!
←Rate | 04-09-2013 12:35 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Billy Joel is singing "I Don't Want Clever Conversation I Want You Just The Way You Are". Is he replying that she's stupid?
←Rate | 04-09-2013 12:33 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I shouldn't have had that 14th cup of coffee... I CAN'T EVEN BLINK ANYMORE!
←Rate | 04-03-2013 10:05 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the mall today and the power went out, I was stuck on the escalator for 30 minutes.
←Rate | 04-01-2013 11:03 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
←Rate | 03-29-2013 08:03 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I am going to print the constitution on a bunch of rolls of toilet paper and send it to the president and his cronies, that way they can truly wipe thier a$$ with it.
←Rate | 03-15-2013 09:40 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who say "If I disappeared, no one would notice" are wrong. If I saw someone vanish right in front of me I would FREAK OUT!
←Rate | 03-14-2013 09:19 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon There will never be true equality until men have to wear jockey shorts with underwires that lift and separate.
←Rate | 03-10-2013 19:56 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I’m about to die and my life flashes before my eyes I’m worried that a lot of it will just be Facebook and TV.
←Rate | 03-10-2013 19:54 by MWC Comments (0)  



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