Huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
←Rate | 07-30-2014 05:17 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in a weird place mentally. And physically. And geographically
←Rate | 07-29-2014 18:27 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wish saying "Uncle" to Life would work.
←Rate | 07-22-2014 18:26 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jurassic Park was a cautionary tale about the dangers of underpaying IT workers
←Rate | 07-16-2014 03:04 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Couples Advice: never go to bed angry. Stay awake for weeks, slowly going insane as your body and mind collapse in on themselves.
←Rate | 07-12-2014 20:37 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting drunk.
←Rate | 07-10-2014 05:23 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Phrases I hope to avoid in my obituary: “skeletal remains,” “dumpster,” “almost beyond recognition,” “dental records” and “shallow grave.”
←Rate | 07-09-2014 04:12 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
←Rate | 07-07-2014 05:11 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you … even you.
←Rate | 07-05-2014 06:10 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a guy wearing a backwards, upside down visor. I assume he DOESN'T want to block sun but DOES want to collect rain.
←Rate | 07-04-2014 05:52 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other toothpastes.
←Rate | 06-18-2014 04:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I’m bored I stop a stranger and ask “where am I?” and whatever they say I runaway screaming “Hahaha I’m a genius! I can teleport!”
←Rate | 06-13-2014 05:38 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
←Rate | 06-11-2014 19:09 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do a dramatic removal
←Rate | 06-06-2014 05:26 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, “It’s okay, I think we lost him.”
←Rate | 06-04-2014 05:39 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just plain old gardening facts.
←Rate | 06-04-2014 05:37 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is anything I learned from 80's movies it's that I'm the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
←Rate | 06-03-2014 19:53 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You haven’t seen a woman overreact until you tell her she is overreacting.
←Rate | 05-29-2014 05:03 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to avoid getting the short end of the stick? Just stop sharing sticks! There are enough sticks out there that you can have your own.
←Rate | 05-28-2014 05:28 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Really, Fresh Prince's mother? One little fight and you ship him across the continent? You won't get a "#1 Mom" mug from me, I assure you.
←Rate | 05-18-2014 06:45 by Huck Comments (0)  



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