Czovczov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Not now kids. I'm managing my online empire.
←Rate | 01-04-2015 10:53 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My resume is just a piece of paper that says "Please don't Google me."
←Rate | 01-02-2015 12:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless you got cloned on new year's eve, please don't write: " new year, new me." It's not gonna end well.
←Rate | 01-02-2015 03:06 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon how do you even tell your girlfriend you want armpit sex? “babe, there’s this thing, wait, hold on your arm, stop asking what I’m doing”
←Rate | 12-31-2014 07:41 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My love life is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn.
←Rate | 11-15-2014 07:35 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously, who the hell goes to North Korea and expect to have a good time there?
←Rate | 11-09-2014 01:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one texts faster than a gossiping woman.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 02:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snoring is just God's way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
←Rate | 11-05-2014 13:15 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read that Kim K is taking some "time off work be with her daughter" but she doesn't have a job so now I'm confused
←Rate | 11-05-2014 13:01 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about falling over when you're home alone is that you can just lie on the floor and take a nap.
←Rate | 11-05-2014 12:50 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a homeless drunk playing with his d*ck on the street today. Thought of you.
←Rate | 11-03-2014 07:26 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apple CEO just came out today. I guess this explains why iPhone 6 bends.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 08:32 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't get the cork off my dinner.
←Rate | 10-24-2014 02:01 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro Tip: If you order two drinks at McDonald's they'll think you're sharing all that food with another person.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 13:06 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon She looks like the kind of girl that brings a suitcase on the first date.
←Rate | 10-16-2014 13:28 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Over a thousand people die in Africa because of Ebola they get 10minute news coverage , one Australian is suspected to have Ebola gets hours of news coverage
←Rate | 10-10-2014 05:12 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon A romantic getaway but, just me and your best friend.
←Rate | 10-10-2014 02:11 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you're truly beautiful you don't need to remind people in every other selfie caption.
←Rate | 10-06-2014 13:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last time I left my girlfriend it took her two weeks to notice I was gone. Next time I'm taking all her shoes with me.
←Rate | 10-01-2014 14:00 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
←Rate | 07-17-2014 01:42 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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