jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Who else proofread something after they posted? Oh so I'm the only one......
←Rate | 09-04-2012 13:33 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when the cashier asks me a stupid question like. "Are you buying all of these?", "No B!@tch!!, I'm stealing, just wanted to show you first!"
←Rate | 09-08-2012 15:56 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally got a kiss at my favorite spot......Thanks Herseys!
←Rate | 09-08-2012 16:04 by jitney Comments (1)  


   messageicon I hate when I'm at a restaurant, and they ask me, "Would you like a table?" , "No not all all, I came here to eat on the floor B!@tch!!!"....."Carpet for 3 Please!
←Rate | 09-08-2012 19:42 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spiderman isnt the only one that gets sticky hands after using the Web all day...... If you know what I mean ;)
←Rate | 09-08-2012 20:28 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kayne West....made a song about Gold Diggers and now wants to marry Kim kardashian
←Rate | 09-11-2012 10:12 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today at work the Boss asks me to start my presentation with a joke, On the 1st slide was a copy of my paycheck!!
←Rate | 09-11-2012 11:40 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dr. Ruth, the world renowned sex doctor says, dont focus on the sagging, or the belly fat, or the wobbly neck, focus on the sensation after the age of 50.
←Rate | 09-12-2012 15:35 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone tell Doctor Ruth, pass the me the beer and alcohol!
←Rate | 09-12-2012 15:38 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon you can learn alot from health Channel news. Just found out teens are now smoking nutmeg spice, potpouri, and incense as a subtitute for weed. Wondering if there's a business opportunity here....
←Rate | 09-12-2012 15:55 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon tried to kill a spider by drowning it, but it looked at me and asked, "Where's the soap?"
←Rate | 09-14-2012 17:57 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon How about they make a film that makes these ppl give us free oil?
←Rate | 09-14-2012 18:02 by jitney Comments (1)  


   messageicon Instead of thinking outside the box, why dont we get rid of the box?
←Rate | 09-30-2012 15:43 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon True Story: Seeing a car set on fire with no doors at 12 midnight outside your miami house window is a sure sign KuKluxKlan has been doing some recruiting.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 15:47 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I met a Spanish man with a Rubber toe......his name was Roberto
←Rate | 09-30-2012 18:09 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon So did anybody catch X-factor? That BIG BIRD looking chick was singing , more like squacking! guess her future on the line too.
←Rate | 10-04-2012 00:26 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon What doesnt kill you......seriously disappoints me!
←Rate | 10-14-2012 17:02 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me and BIG BIRD, going down to Sesame Street to see if we can buy the moderate a lie detector.
←Rate | 10-16-2012 21:24 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its weird how Wall street was up and running like nothing happened, ....Oh my bad, I forgot....TeamRich&Wealthy with 2 or 3 homes flew or boated in to work.
←Rate | 11-01-2012 01:44 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know it Halloween and stuff, but A white bronco just pulled up and threw out 2 bodies and then sped off really fast.....(Ö_Ö) on the lawn
←Rate | 11-01-2012 01:47 by jitney Comments (0)  




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