Huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 08:41 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if we found out that there's no such thing as Federal Bikini Inspectors and those guys in the t-shirts are con-men?
←Rate | 03-09-2013 08:48 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Interest in the Bermuda Triangle disappeared. Seems suspicious.
←Rate | 03-14-2013 10:48 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most fascinating thing I remember from my childhood is the amount of people Coolio fit into his trunk that day he went on a Fantastic Voyage.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 08:24 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my job was to make health questionnaires, I'd slip in random stuff like "How fast can you run backwards?"
←Rate | 03-19-2013 06:23 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if there is a secret feud between rocket scientists and brain surgeons.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 05:56 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe in love at first sight, and love at last call.
←Rate | 03-26-2013 06:36 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
←Rate | 03-27-2013 06:24 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Cowboys just signed a "No Super Bowl for six more years" contract today
←Rate | 03-30-2013 07:55 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. You can, however, make a pretty decent ham wallet.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 06:34 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Is it necessary for every office-building stairwell to look like a Law & Order crime scene?
←Rate | 04-03-2013 06:12 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just assassinated a huge spider with a slingshot and a Flintstone vitamin if anyone's looking for a bodyguard.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 05:49 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to draw graffiti on highway overpasses. Things like "clearance 40 feet".
←Rate | 04-04-2013 06:14 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon All voicemail systems tell you the date and time of the message, so can you please, please, please stop telling me what time it is.
←Rate | 04-07-2013 08:06 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell its getting warmer out. The first mullets of spring have appeared.
←Rate | 04-10-2013 06:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got some stain remover that takes out grass, urine, sweat, coffee, and lipstick stains. Sounds like quite an evening.
←Rate | 04-10-2013 06:34 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to open a card: 1. Pretend to read card 2. Pretend to not look for money If money found: 3. Show gratitude OR 4. Feign gratitude
←Rate | 04-12-2013 06:04 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's because donkey and monkey don't rhyme that I'm so angry at the world.
←Rate | 04-13-2013 07:08 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes after I try to parallel park, I'll just get out and stand with my hands on my hips like a relief pitcher who just blew a save.
←Rate | 04-18-2013 06:27 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car is making an odd noise right now, but I treat my car problems like my emotional problems, ignore them until a breakdown.
←Rate | 04-21-2013 07:14 by Huck Comments (0)  



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