Czovczov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The best part about waking up Sunday morning is knowing that sex can be more than a quickie and you can sip your coffee instead of gulping it.
←Rate | 02-12-2012 11:56 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is Chris Brown's nickname Breezy? Shouldn't it be 'Bruisey' instead?
←Rate | 02-13-2012 14:05 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "OMG I got flowers and chocolate! I should take a picture of them and post it on my Facebook page so everyone can know I got flowers and chocolate!" - Some Silly ho on Facebook.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 09:52 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found the vodka… it was hiding in the orange juice!
←Rate | 02-17-2012 12:42 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I often send texts to random numbers that say. "Guess whose restraining order's expired!?" Eventually I'm bound to get a hysterical reply.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:08 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feeling stressed about something? Ask yourself, “Will this really matter after I've had a few drinks?”
←Rate | 02-19-2012 10:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "What's the point of winning all these golden covered Grammys if there isn't chocolate in the middle?" - Adele
←Rate | 02-21-2012 12:18 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided to nickname my fridge 'Facebook'. Because even if I know there's nothing there, I still check it every time I go into the room.
←Rate | 02-21-2012 12:35 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they keep records of people who died due to alcohol, but not the records of people who were born thanks to it?
←Rate | 02-21-2012 12:45 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is called joy.
←Rate | 02-22-2012 11:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.
←Rate | 02-23-2012 13:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's big, red, and looks like a bucket? A big red bucket.
←Rate | 02-23-2012 13:52 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon A clever horse needs only one touch of the whip...unless it's into that sort of thing.
←Rate | 02-23-2012 13:56 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Suicide Bomber Training: "Pay attention because I'm only going to show you this once..."
←Rate | 02-24-2012 11:55 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon MOM: Make your bed! SON: Why make my bed If I'm gonna sleep In It again tonight? MOM: Why wipe your ass If you are gonna poop again?
←Rate | 02-25-2012 11:15 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the best way to prove to an ex that you don't think about them anymore is to write and produce a song saying so.
←Rate | 02-26-2012 07:04 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The three most read words in the world: I̶ ̶L̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶ …NO! It's: “Made in China.”
←Rate | 02-26-2012 07:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes 17 muscles to smile, 43 to frown and 0 to not give a damn.
←Rate | 02-27-2012 09:26 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol preserves everything except secrets.
←Rate | 02-27-2012 09:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon New survey: 55% of men expect to pay on the 1st date. While the other 45% have never been on a 2nd date.
←Rate | 02-28-2012 14:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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