JAKE Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When we first ment on a blind date my girlfriend wasn't that interested in me. Untill she saw me lick my eyebrows.
←Rate | 01-17-2018 21:02 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn't pay their wifi bill.
←Rate | 11-09-2017 06:56 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon says "If Heat Rises, Surely Heaven is Hotter Than Hell"
←Rate | 10-18-2009 12:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two girls talking. 1st girl: I've been ask lots of times to get married. 2nd girl: Was it by the same guy? 1st girl: No, by my mother.
←Rate | 02-10-2018 17:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you could cross a centipede with a turkey you would have enough turkey legs for everyone.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 07:44 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's 2018 so that means the millennium is legal.
←Rate | 01-04-2018 05:49 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is only a small box, but weighs over 250 pounds? A scale
←Rate | 09-12-2017 09:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it when I misplace my cell phone it set on silent
←Rate | 11-09-2017 21:39 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If April showers bring may flowers. What does mayflowers bring? Pilgrims
←Rate | 02-21-2018 01:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were born in september. There a good chance your parents started the new year with a bang.
←Rate | 12-31-2017 23:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Claustrophobic : A person afraid of Santa Claus
←Rate | 11-26-2017 07:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon when the river runs red, take the dirt road...
←Rate | 01-07-2010 07:52 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa Claus is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 23:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon New breakfast cereal called Prosatooties. They don't snap crackle or pop. They just in the bowl and smile at you.
←Rate | 09-17-2017 00:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the people I come in contact with daily could read my mind I'd get punch in the face alot.
←Rate | 11-10-2017 23:58 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon So cold don's toupee flew south for the winter
←Rate | 01-02-2018 03:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heard there was a kidnapping at the school. Untill the teacher woke him up.
←Rate | 01-02-2018 01:41 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a study done on the effects alcohol has on walking. The results were staggering.
←Rate | 12-31-2017 23:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My cooking is so good even my smoke alarm comments on it.
←Rate | 12-28-2017 23:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon By useing earbuds it gave me alot of practice to un-tangling a string of Christmas lights
←Rate | 12-04-2017 21:17 by Jake Comments (0)  



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