Funny Status Messages Search

X First rule of Alzheimer's club:

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 17:33 by snotty Comments (0)

X I wish I was a gloworm,,, a gloworm's never glum,,, cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 17:36 by snotty Comments (0)

X I don't have a pet,, so I adopted this spider, but the stupid thing won't even chase the laser pen,,, It's got 8 eyes so I *know* he sees it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 17:39 by snotty Comments (0)

X says Facebook feels a lot like Group Therapy...only everyone is talking at once and no one wants to be cured

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 21:02 by snotty Comments (0)

X Lord Almighty, Adele...REALLY ?,, Just burn his house down & get on with your life already.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-02-2012 07:49 by snotty Comments (0)

X I feel a little better when I remember that Lady Gaga is just as scared of us, as we are of it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-02-2012 08:40 by snotty Comments (0)

X My bucket list is still half Original Recipe,,, and half Extra Crispy.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-02-2012 08:55 by snotty Comments (0)

X There are 2 kinds of people in this world: those that recognize how diverse people are, and those that think there are only 2 kinds of people

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-02-2012 10:16 by snotty Comments (0)

X I someitmes wonder what magical things would've been created had we all put our creativity towards something other than making the internet laugh

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-02-2012 12:08 by snotty Comments (0)

X King Arthur: "What size and shape should we make the table?"................Sir Mix-a-lot: " I LIKE 'EM ROUND...AND BIG!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-02-2012 12:12 by snotty Comments (0)

X says A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort,, it is equal to one night.. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-02-2012 22:47 by snotty Comments (0)

X There's a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road, and all I can think,, is that one of you,, is without your protective headgear today.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 10:48 by snotty Comments (0)

X OH MY LORD!! I almost sat down on the toilet without my droid...

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 10:53 by snotty Comments (0)

X These tornadoes are awful...I blame the violence in tornado themed video games

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 20:24 by snotty Comments (0)

X The plain cake donut is always the last one picked.... Come with me poor little plain cake donut,, you can be on my team.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 21:57 by snotty Comments (1)

X Wait,, there's a "pro-anorexia" community? That's a thing?.. Oh,, I bet they have the worst luncheons ever.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 22:05 by snotty Comments (0)

X Sometimes I worry my posts are too cerebrle... cerabrall... cerrebrel...

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 22:24 by snotty Comments (0)

X Ahem,,,,, Now As a recovering kleptomaniac,,,, I know how to take a joke.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-04-2012 07:20 by snotty Comments (0)

X 10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.. Now we have like 50 million dumb guys still posting a bad joke over and over

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-04-2012 16:19 by snotty Comments (0)

X Dyslexics better do it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-04-2012 18:27 by snotty Comments (1)