minnie haha Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Limited time offer for my middle linebacker friends....I will be your imaginary girlfriend.....but you had better show up at my funeral, dammit.
←Rate | 01-17-2013 13:30 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m on to you mister..... there were no pearls and that was NOT a necklace.
←Rate | 08-03-2013 23:04 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon What manner of devilry is this?!? Just when Colorado and Washington legalize pot - Twinkies goes out of business?!?
←Rate | 11-16-2012 12:18 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having sex is like vacuuming; It should be loud enough to scare your pets, involve a whole lot of sucking, and it's best if you do it often in every room of the house.
←Rate | 04-25-2013 18:31 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screw Daylight Savings Time. Losing an hour on the weekend means we're one hour closer to Monday. Dammit.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 13:57 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I might have had a wee bit too much green beer last night. I woke up this morning next to Paddy O’Furniture.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 12:10 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only because I take things ever so personally, from now on, when someone posts FML, I'll assume they mean "Fermenting My Liver."
←Rate | 03-26-2013 14:53 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon This morning I woke up with a HUGE smile on my face....frickin’ neighbor kids and their Sharpies......
←Rate | 03-26-2013 14:55 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't the gov't just call in Jon Taffer and do this shutdown thing right?
←Rate | 09-30-2013 20:26 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I met a new client at work last week, but I made a total fool of myself when he introduced himself. Apparently 'Neil' is his name, not a command. On the bright side - I did get the contract, though.
←Rate | 01-13-2013 15:01 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where do we cash out these Likes? I need gas money, and by gas money I mean booze.
←Rate | 03-05-2013 20:27 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Vatican removed Bishop Sicola from New York from the final candidate list for the papacy...... Apparently they thought it wouldn't seem proper to address the new pontiff as ''Pope-si-cola.''
←Rate | 03-02-2013 13:03 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree fell in the woods and knocked over my beer, I'd be pretty darned mad whether I heard it or not.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 15:12 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon AACK! I just realized that I'm still "it" from a game of tag in 1996. Ohhhh it is ON!
←Rate | 01-01-2013 20:18 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon For those of you that were wondering about my brackets: [ ] { } [ ] { } and [ ] { }
←Rate | 03-21-2013 10:47 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend said I was a horrible wing man last night, but I'm not sure. I ate like 90 of them for Christ sake..
←Rate | 01-08-2013 16:32 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon April showers bring May flowers. And May flowers bring...pilgrims!!!
←Rate | 04-09-2013 12:14 by minnie haha Comments (1)  


   messageicon I am pleased to announce that the PR firm of Helland-Hunt, LLC will be handling the issuance of all apologies on my behalf from now on. So, if you're looking for an “I'm sorry” from me, please go to Helland Hunt for it..
←Rate | 10-02-2012 15:51 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made it through 1/1/1, 2/2/2 all the way through 12/12/12! Whoo-hoo! I'm feeling pretty invincible....Bring on 13/13/13!!!
←Rate | 12-12-2012 19:24 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep it down kids....Aunt Minnie is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 14:15 by minnie haha Comments (0)  



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