Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Furnace quit working and I woke up to a house that was 59 degrees. For a minute there, I thought I was married again:)
←Rate | 11-18-2010 17:45 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which is creepier. Being in a bathroom stall and looking out through the crack in the door, you see someone looking back? Or looking into the stall and you see someone looking out?
←Rate | 08-01-2013 11:08 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say "I understand", it doesn't mean I agree, it doesn't mean I understand, it doesn't even mean I'm listening.
←Rate | 07-18-2010 21:03 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my OCD is getting worse. Did I hit post? Wait a minute, did I even type it yet? I'm pretty sure I hit post but am not sure. Yeah, I did. Well, maybe I didn't. I better double-check. Yeah, I did. No, I didn't. Dang!!! What was I going to post again
←Rate | 02-27-2010 07:42 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Watched my first Baseball Game of the year and can't understand why they sing, "Take Me Out to the Ballpark"? Duh......aren't you already at the ballpark if you're singing that song???
←Rate | 04-05-2010 11:20 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Advice to remember: when people say, "Word to the wise," they generally mean, "Word to the stupid."
←Rate | 07-21-2013 19:37 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get why any woman stays single. You would think they would get married so they can let themselves go.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 20:52 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valet parking is just Canadian car jacking.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 19:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chinese food to go: $17.95. Gas to go get it $1.50. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
←Rate | 09-25-2014 11:51 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon I like to play "Rodeo Cowboy" with my girlfriend. Whenever we're making love and I'm behind her, I call her by a different name and see how long I can hold on.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 20:21 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon So it's okay to kill hookers in video games, but smack one around in real life because you want to negotiate the price and suddenly everyone gets all pissy. Geeze.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:35 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The term "chubby chasers" is so misleading and inaccurate. They don't run.
←Rate | 08-07-2013 21:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screw Olmpic soccer. If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 mins I'd go watch old security tapes of me sitting at the bar.
←Rate | 08-10-2012 20:11 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon A deal has been struck to allow evolution to continue to be taught in public schools, as long as Dinosaurs are refered to as Jesus Horse's.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 17:06 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever wonder if you ordered something online, forget what you ordered and get mad because it still hasn't came yet?
←Rate | 04-08-2010 09:10 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet it gets super awkward when hand models ask for jobs.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:33 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Suppose I should get a girlfriend. Yep, I'm almost out of cologne.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 20:38 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have nothing against people who choose to smoke but that whole little thing you do, with cracking your car window and blowing smoke out doesn’t help. Umm….yeah….your car still stinks.
←Rate | 09-28-2013 14:34 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesssss….neighbor guy, the whole block knows you own a Harley. So, you can stop revving your engine every 1.6 seconds. Or, better yet, while you are stopped at the stop sign. You're cool, we get it.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 20:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We... did... start the fire..." - Billy Joel on his deathbed
←Rate | 11-22-2011 09:30 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  



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