HiYourJon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon This entire time I thought YOLO was a new frozen yogurt store.
←Rate | 08-01-2013 23:12 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Press 1 for English. Press 2 For Spanish. Press 1 or 2 for Indian.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 15:17 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laziness walks in my family
←Rate | 06-10-2013 22:50 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you cut soda from your diet, you'll save over $1000 a year and could spend money on more important things, like beer, meth, and skittles.
←Rate | 08-17-2013 16:00 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the plot of Breaking Amish isn’t an Amish guy with cancer who sells light bulbs to pay his medical bills then you can count me out.
←Rate | 08-19-2013 20:42 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just read a report that said 86% of holy water tested had fecal matter in it. Holy shít!!
←Rate | 10-03-2013 23:34 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say that my analogies are as bad as a candle on a forklift.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 14:50 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a scale from 1 to dyslexic, how 10 am I?
←Rate | 05-12-2013 21:12 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama banned from Call of Duty for using unlimited drone strikes cheat. Biden’s in the corner with a SNES controller making airplane sounds.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 23:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you find the right person, you shouldn't even be able to tell the difference between being "single" or in a "relationship". That's the key. 
←Rate | 02-22-2012 10:55 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It feels like Robert De Niro just walks onto random film sets and says "I'm in this now."
←Rate | 11-08-2013 22:16 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I decided to follow my dreams and it led me to a casino, then to 4 bars, an hour ago I was in a gun shop and now I'm in front of a bank.
←Rate | 04-14-2012 11:13 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep a baseball bat under my bed just incase someone breaks into my house while I'm sleeping and throws a baseball at me
←Rate | 05-13-2012 23:11 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... So that I can find a better girlfriend!
←Rate | 06-12-2013 09:10 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife finally agreed to have a 3 way with me. Her and her divorce lawyer fùcked over me really good.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 00:11 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reads all the pro/anti Obamacare posts. Makes jerk-off motion. Sprains wrist. Files insurance claim.
←Rate | 09-25-2013 10:43 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fastest way to fix that annoying noise in your car, is to just open the door..... And push her the f out.
←Rate | 08-21-2012 17:49 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe Tom Cruise isn’t gay and is just a really good actor.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 01:28 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Michelle Obama. The White House is NOT like a prison. American citizens can visit prisons.
←Rate | 07-02-2013 21:29 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked me "Where were you between four and six?" I replied, "Kindergarden"
←Rate | 06-17-2013 14:34 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  




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