BigSarge Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My old VHS s ex tape is probably at some garage sale somewhere labeled "Crocodile Dundee II"
←Rate | 11-16-2013 15:51 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon " Fcuk the Police" ............ Please encourage this!! With the shift work we do protecting your sorry ass it's sometimes hard to meet women. So please encourage your sister and mother to continue your cause!!
←Rate | 12-03-2014 19:53 by BigSarge Comments (1)  


   messageicon For those of you whose FB picks I stalk late at night, it's only because your dog started barking when I was at your window!!
←Rate | 03-30-2012 01:50 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Vladimir Putin moves two Boy Scout Troops to the Russian/Polish boarder. France surrendered
←Rate | 03-25-2014 22:13 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can imagine homeless people aren't the biggest fans of little dogs wearing sweaters?
←Rate | 07-09-2013 13:42 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stood outside the women's restroom at a restaurant for 40 minutes today reminding ladies to wipe front to back...... Because it takes a village.
←Rate | 08-01-2013 23:11 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon HD porn, because I like to read the serial number on your breast implants.
←Rate | 11-20-2013 11:56 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you mean spray painting "SERVICE ANIMAL" on the side of my dog doesn't make it legal for her to be in Wally World?
←Rate | 06-06-2013 15:28 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe Obama should have pitched Obamacare on Shark Tank?
←Rate | 03-20-2014 22:15 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are raccoons supposed to be inside or outside cats?
←Rate | 07-27-2013 14:13 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon You’ll never get the same results running on a tread mill as you will running from a pi$sed off Pit Bull
←Rate | 03-25-2013 15:17 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Ex-Wife once asked me to name a star after her...Fugly-McWh0re-B!t ch is the brightest star in the sky!!!
←Rate | 06-06-2013 03:08 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now why would I possibly want to "Follow" your Spanish only speaking Twitter account? Oh look at that, Ginormous huge ti tty selfies? *Now FOLLOWING Tetas Gigantescas
←Rate | 01-16-2014 02:46 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon DAMN!! Obamaphones sure are getting one serious workout these last two nights in Ferguson!!
←Rate | 11-25-2014 18:36 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you cancel my membership you might want to post a sign << Me to manager at my gym because apparently "tickle fairies" aren't allowed in the showers at this gym.
←Rate | 06-11-2013 09:28 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry officer, Jesus took the wheel right after turning all this water into Budweiser
←Rate | 04-28-2013 03:20 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon People that will eat food even after they seen that I've pre-licked it to claim ownership, are my only natural predators.
←Rate | 06-10-2013 00:17 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon 98% of my old High School friends here on Facebook used Math tutors to excel in class. The other 13% used me......
←Rate | 02-08-2013 18:25 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hand wash only" clothing in a man's closet stands for "wear 3 times and then throw away."
←Rate | 06-09-2013 11:49 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Northern Liberal tree huggers.......Winter Storm Nemo says FU and your global warming!!!
←Rate | 02-08-2013 18:25 by BigSarge Comments (0)  




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