Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Christmas Gift idea: Take her to the Planetarium so she can see the world doesn't revolve around her.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 23:48 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing more uncomfortable than a girl with a lazy eye looking up at you while giving you head.
←Rate | 07-28-2012 12:09 by Baddie Comments (2)  


   messageicon If she takes off her heels to chase you, then you better call the police while you still can.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 13:04 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So...41 guys...that's the limit.
←Rate | 09-29-2013 13:03 by Baddie Comments (2)  


   messageicon May the shooter's 72 virgins be all males.
←Rate | 06-12-2016 11:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My resume is basically a list of things I hate to do.
←Rate | 05-07-2014 10:10 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That's about as organic you're gonna get out of me.
←Rate | 07-01-2014 01:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most important thing I look for from a potential employer is a bathroom with a good network connection.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 15:57 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a girl doesn't invite me up to her place after a date I just assume it's because she's a hoarder with 30 kitty cats.
←Rate | 10-15-2012 13:41 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My plan is simple. Drink Vodka until I start speaking Russian.
←Rate | 11-01-2012 13:50 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching a program about apes trying to make it in the real world. Wait no, it's "Keeping up with the Kardashians".
←Rate | 05-03-2013 09:04 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you'll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
←Rate | 08-30-2013 08:58 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's racial profiling when a waiter in a Chinese restaurant gives me a fork.
←Rate | 06-24-2014 01:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I can't go out tonight, I can't find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
←Rate | 08-08-2014 01:18 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Black Eyed Peas are just regular peas that got on an elevator with Ray Rice.
←Rate | 09-17-2014 13:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of donating my body to science, I'll donate it to whoever has the best idea for a practical joke involving a dead body.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 00:33 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A black guy called me a disgrace in front of his girlfriend, but then I realized he was introducing me to his girlfriend Grace.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 11:24 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned anything from movies, it's that most murder cases are only solved after a detective is suspended but ignores the suspension.
←Rate | 08-04-2014 14:53 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay guys thats enough. Let's all agree to stop drawing on Lil Wayne while he's passed out drunk.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 15:58 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.
←Rate | 09-30-2014 13:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  



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