santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   The only reason kids like Christmas is because they're not the ones buying all the presents.

   To all the people that send those annoying Christmas chain text messages I HOPE YOU GET COAL THIS YEAR UNDER YOUR TREE!!!

   Using a stapler and duct tape sure makes wrapping presents easy....

   BREAKING NEWS: Rudolph commits suicide after Santa upgrades to GPS

   Some relatives are like seeing Santa; you only care to see them once a year.

   If one more person says "all I want for christmas is you" they are gonna get me... with a baseball bat

   Dear Santa, when your done writing the naughty list, can I get my lil black book back? Cheers Guv

   Trying to find a website with all the WikiLeaks information just in case they also have Santa's naughty list!

   would like to see a more man-friendly mall for next Christmas. It needs to have a Home Depot, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, Sears, Gander Mtn, Pep Boys, a Longhorn Steakhouse and ESPN radio playing over the christmas tunes.

   Dear kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents love, Wikileaks

   Dear Santa, My wish 4 this year is a big, fat bank account & a slim body. Pls don't mix these 2 up like you did last year!!!!!

   Whew!!.. just in time ... I got all my Christmas shopping done with one fell swoop... I hope everyone enjoys their Netflicks trial offers :)

   it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...no money, pretty stressed, freezing cold and running nose!

   is excited for Christmas. What other time of the year can you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks?

   Dear God, When I was young I said always wanted to be a hip-hop rapper...Not a Christmas gift wrapper...in a mall...on a rainy Wednesday. FML

   Xmas idea. Mistletoe tied to my belt buckle. Hope this works.

   if you have been naughty this Christmas be happy if you get coal...there are blind snowmen out there that would kill for it!

   An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures

   Thanks for the xmas card with your kids who I don't even know ..standing with some dog....that I didnt know you had....with some lady.. ..im guessing is your wife.....Merry xmas to you to!

   I asked Santa for Natalie Portman for Christmas. He said "No, you'll shoot her eye out".