santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,

   The people who insist you say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" are just trying to Police Navidad.

   I just found out that my wife is actually Mrs. Santa Claus!! At least that's what my kids tell me.

   Dear Santa, yea I was naughty this year ..and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental b*stard!

   I don't care what you say. Arbor Day and Christmas are cousins.

   The first rule of Christmas Fight Club is don't buy her anything half a size bigger than she is because clearly you're implying something..

   Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch who lived just North of Whoville did not!

   Here's a list of my favourite xmas carols.

   Remember ladys, being good may get you a few nice presents but being naughty will get you diamonds.

   Evidently Cheering and doing play by play while my wife is wrapping presents wasn't the help she was looking for.

   I was going to wish merry christmas to all of the women that accused Trump of groping but I cant find them.

   Fun Christmas prank: give your mom a new iPhone then refuse to help her set it up

   If everyone that receives a fruitcake for Christmas donates them to the government, Trump can build the brick wall!

   Merry hammered people! I'm Christmas!

   I wish I was Santa...he knows where the naught women live

   Christmas; Another day of choreographed kindness and fake concern.

   Shout Out to the Kids in the Projects that left some Milk & Cookies out for Santa but the Roaches got 2 it first.

   So over Christmas porn, there is only so much elf sex one can watch

   I wish I loved anything as much as Santa loves rich kids.

   I gave Santa Chocolate Laxative chip cookies...