Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I would just like to take a minute to give a big shout-out to the inventor of croutons. Who knew you could take stale bread and make so many different flavors. Recycling before recycling was cool!
←Rate | 05-17-2023 09:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was outside today and man is it hot. I was sweating more than Brandon at a press conference..
←Rate | 05-17-2023 09:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joe Biden
←Rate | 05-20-2023 20:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon TikTok. Exemplifying the devolution of mankind one imbecilic post at a time.
←Rate | 05-21-2023 12:18 by FezzeeLarry Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your neighbor has wind chimes, you have wind chimes.
←Rate | 05-21-2023 12:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon there a dark web site for black market Q-Tips? These new ones suck.
←Rate | 05-22-2023 12:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no need for Rolling Stones tribute bands. The real Stones are bad enough.
←Rate | 05-22-2023 15:34 by Ringo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Playing cooking simulator
←Rate | 05-23-2023 07:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop saying you support local businesses when you eat at chain restaurants, shop at big box stores, and only attend major league sporting events.
←Rate | 05-24-2023 06:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it is so unfair that I have to manage my anger because other people can't manage their stupidity.
←Rate | 05-24-2023 07:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon From Thunderdome .....to funeral home. RIP Tina Turner.
←Rate | 05-24-2023 20:46 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I get an eyelash in my eye I’m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild..
←Rate | 05-25-2023 05:18 by Ei Comments (0)  


   messageicon I planned to graduate Camping School but I failed Tent Grade.
←Rate | 05-27-2023 07:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have trouble always mixing my metaphors. I don't know why. It's not rocket surgery.
←Rate | 05-28-2023 07:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drugs are not the answer. Unless the question is "What are you in for?"
←Rate | 05-28-2023 07:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meet hook the roofie
←Rate | 05-29-2023 14:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a snowman in July? ...a puddle
←Rate | 05-30-2023 02:26 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Camp Lejeune bottled water is now outselling Bud Lite.
←Rate | 05-30-2023 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I yelled “pull” when you released doves at your wedding this past Saturday..
←Rate | 05-30-2023 15:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say do something today that makes the world a better place….so I’m getting drunk.
←Rate | 06-01-2023 05:59 Comments (0)  




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