Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6101 of 6369
Sorry I burst into uncontrollable laughter at something you didn't remotely intend to be funny
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03-01-2010 02:56
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It takes 37 muscles to frown, 17 to smile...but only 3 to pull a trigger
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03-01-2010 00:26
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a snail without a shell naked or homeless?
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03-01-2010 00:25
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.2 muffins were in a hot oven, 1 said 2 the other, "its getting hot in here" and the other one shouted, "AHH! a talking muffin!"
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03-01-2010 00:11
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...unreal gold medal hockey game...and a record breaking 14 Olympic golds....Canada is amazing..if we didn't have Nickelback we would be the best country in the world.
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03-01-2010 00:01
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says: "some girls are made of sugar and spice. MY GIRLS ARE MADE OF VODKA AND ICE!!"
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02-28-2010 23:58
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Once in a while, engage in random acts of kindness. It scares the hell out of your enemies!
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02-28-2010 23:55
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The WIFE and her husband's CREDIT CARD....The True Marriage.
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02-28-2010 23:06 by Danmanz
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I saw a dog walking his blonde earlier today.
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02-28-2010 23:06 by Danmanz
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Ya know...I always look for inner beauty in a woman. Once inner...beauty!
saw a pirate movie the other day... It was rated ARRRRRRRRR!
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02-28-2010 22:36 by Dylan
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wonders if suacide bombers text. "BRB ... J/K! I won't BRB." Or, "TTFN SYIHW72V" = ta ta for now, see you in heaven with 72 virgins.
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02-28-2010 22:35 by Tim
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You really have to hand it to the blind prostitute..."
can't go to a nudist wedding, Women might mistake me for the Bestman."
Love is photogenic...it needs darkness to develop."
reuse, recycle, regift.
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02-28-2010 22:32
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wonders if there are gay terrorists. "Hey, Mr. Embassy man... two snaps ka-boom!"
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02-28-2010 22:32 by Tim
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says "The early bird gets the worm, but the night owl gets the tequila!!"
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02-28-2010 22:31
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wonders if there are gay terrorists. I bet they'd wear fancy explosive underwear.
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02-28-2010 22:30 by Tim
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Came home from work last nite just plain tired so I sat down to relax - five minutes later there was a knock on the door - it was my rear just catching up
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02-28-2010 22:30 by Matt
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