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flinnie Funny Status Messages
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Fun thing to do # 86 Leave "this is offensive" as a comment under a photo & never explain why
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11-12-2014 05:43 by
flinnie
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if I had a choice between ending world hunger and seeing a mountain lion play a guitar solo, everyone would eat but i'd regret it forever
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11-14-2014 13:45 by
flinnie
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When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "you did this."
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11-23-2014 07:11 by
flinnie
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As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it's important that you lower your expectations.
107
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12-03-2014 05:04 by
flinnie
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Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry.
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12-27-2014 06:59 by
flinnie
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a guy on Maury found out he was not the father and said "it dont take blood to be a daddy" but actually it does. all dads have to have blood
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12-27-2014 07:12 by
flinnie
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if I was a cab driver I'd yell "ROAD TRIP" every time I got a passenger
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12-27-2014 07:33 by
flinnie
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Everyone hates planes babies are just honest about it
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12-27-2014 07:46 by
flinnie
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It's time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it's over
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12-27-2014 07:54 by
flinnie
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People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald’s scare me.
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12-29-2014 05:14 by
flinnie
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My favorite part about the Patriots cheating is it means they didn't have confidence in Brady's skill.
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01-23-2015 12:33 by
flinnie
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A whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather threesome practical joke
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01-24-2015 06:18 by
flinnie
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Not really supposed to say anything yet, but… I joined Blink 182. Gonna take it in a super fun new direction.
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01-27-2015 12:32 by
flinnie
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Why would I dance like nobody's watching? People need to see this.
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02-09-2015 05:33 by
flinnie
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The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club
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02-16-2015 16:18 by
flinnie
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My office has started random urine testing of employees to detect traces of hope or optimism.
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02-17-2015 05:04 by
flinnie
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When life throws you a curveball, try to duck so it hits someone else.
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02-22-2015 16:37 by
flinnie
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My wife wanted two cats but I am the man in this house so we got two cats
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02-28-2015 05:50 by
flinnie
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Adulthood is fun because by the time you're finally old enough to go out whenever you want you're too tired to do it.
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03-08-2015 08:34 by
flinnie
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Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
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03-12-2015 05:36 by
flinnie
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