flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Fun thing to do #48 1) See laptop on empty table in crowded coffee shop. 2) Ask someone to watch it for you. 3) Leave before the owner returns.
←Rate | 11-12-2014 05:41 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun thing to do # 86 Leave "this is offensive" as a comment under a photo & never explain why
←Rate | 11-12-2014 05:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I had a choice between ending world hunger and seeing a mountain lion play a guitar solo, everyone would eat but i'd regret it forever
←Rate | 11-14-2014 13:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "you did this."
←Rate | 11-23-2014 07:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it's important that you lower your expectations.
←Rate | 12-03-2014 05:04 by flinnie Comments (2)  


   messageicon Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 06:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon a guy on Maury found out he was not the father and said "it dont take blood to be a daddy" but actually it does. all dads have to have blood
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I was a cab driver I'd yell "ROAD TRIP" every time I got a passenger
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone hates planes babies are just honest about it
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it's over
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald’s scare me.
←Rate | 12-29-2014 05:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite part about the Patriots cheating is it means they didn't have confidence in Brady's skill.
←Rate | 01-23-2015 12:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather threesome practical joke
←Rate | 01-24-2015 06:18 by flinnie Comments (5)  


   messageicon Not really supposed to say anything yet, but… I joined Blink 182. Gonna take it in a super fun new direction.
←Rate | 01-27-2015 12:32 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why would I dance like nobody's watching? People need to see this.
←Rate | 02-09-2015 05:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club
←Rate | 02-16-2015 16:18 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My office has started random urine testing of employees to detect traces of hope or optimism.
←Rate | 02-17-2015 05:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When life throws you a curveball, try to duck so it hits someone else.
←Rate | 02-22-2015 16:37 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife wanted two cats but I am the man in this house so we got two cats
←Rate | 02-28-2015 05:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adulthood is fun because by the time you're finally old enough to go out whenever you want you're too tired to do it.
←Rate | 03-08-2015 08:34 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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