Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6039 of 6369
How can you tell if your chocolate Easter bunny is male or female? Bite it's head off. If it's hollow,it's a male.
I don't care how comfortable crocs are, you look like a dumba$$!
I don't care how comfortable crocs are, you look like a dumbass
Ur attempts to make me jealous are hilarious and unsuccesful.
I'm not rare. I'm just a limited edition.
Pls stop being such ass, I have one enough to worry about. Lol
A blonde filled out an application form. It said "sex" and options were "male" n "female". She crossed them both off and wrote "Lots"
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03-30-2010 16:00
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if at first you don't succeed, what makes you think doing it again with make any difference?
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03-30-2010 15:42
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its kinda hard to hide the fact that you farted in the bus when the only other person in it is the driver and you know both of you can smell it
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03-30-2010 15:37
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Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
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03-30-2010 14:59 by Mduduzi
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wonders if it's a coincidence that "Consider Christianity Week" (Mar 21-27) coincided with "World Folk Tales and Fables Week" (Mar 22-28)
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03-30-2010 14:55 by Dane
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My mate told me that she was having nothing to do with me anymore because she was fed up with my bad habits. I nearly choked on my toenail.
If your wife or girlfriend forces you to carry a "man bag", it's official: you've been "pursey whipped."
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03-30-2010 14:12 by Leeferd
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There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
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03-30-2010 14:02
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spinning in his new office chair so I am away, now I am back, away again and back.
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03-30-2010 14:02
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thinks the best part about his job is that her chair spins!
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03-30-2010 14:02
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thinking bush doubled out debt it 8 years......obama will double that in 2! good job america!!
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03-30-2010 13:25
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slowly undressing behind you!
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03-30-2010 13:22
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wonders why the Trojan condom is named after the Trojan horse? Isn't that the horse that penetrated the roman walls then broke open spilling hundreds of men into the city?
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03-30-2010 13:02
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Gas for trip to Walmart: $4.75 Miley Cyrus movie: $19.95 Box of tissue: $2.95 Hand Lotion: $3.78 The look of disgust on the cashiers face: