Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon thinks if your dog is wearing clothes, you're probably an a-hole.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 17:08 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon only updating my status because my legions of fans expect me to.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 17:07 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: The amount of Alcohol consumed can directly increase the amount of facebook activity.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 17:02 by Tracy Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come we can't say the word n*gro in a song but can have a group called Uncle Kracker?
←Rate | 04-15-2010 16:47 Comments (1)  


   messageicon life is too short for regrets, so stop fighting ur enemies. Just get rid of them altogether. Dead men tell no tales...
←Rate | 04-15-2010 15:43 by melaniebijoux@gmail.com Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bought my dog a cell phone today...it was a good deal...she gets free roll over minutes =)
←Rate | 04-15-2010 14:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'" --Bill Maher
←Rate | 04-15-2010 14:02 by TJ Comments (3)  


   messageicon I have no sense of proportion. Which causes me big problems. Or small ones. I'm not sure
←Rate | 04-15-2010 13:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't think of it as thousands of dollars of your hard-earned money. Think of it as a toilet seat for the Pentagon.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 13:46 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, If you say "Blackhawks" real fast a few times in a row it starts to sound like something else...
←Rate | 04-15-2010 13:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes poetry, long walks on the beach.... and poking dead things with a stick.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 12:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 12:12 by Erica Jane Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking it must be Thursday, Larry King is getting divorsed
←Rate | 04-15-2010 10:24 by Vybe Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks BEER is the answer. I have no idea what the hell the question was.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 09:57 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon glad to hear that the IRS is finally concerned that some people have been trying without success to dial the IRS Taxpayer Assistance Hot Line since 1984.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 09:18 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Texas, the words Texas & Taxes sound alike. This makes today confusing for them, I bet. I'm not concered, I already did my Texas.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 08:34 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon -- The Icelandic volcano that has fu***d the majority of Europe's air travel is situated in Eyjafjallajokull, which translates into English as 'fell asleep on my keyboard'.....
←Rate | 04-15-2010 08:23 by Y.P Comments (0)  


   messageicon The latest income-tax form has been greatly simplified. It consists of only three parts: (1) How much did you make last year? (2) How much have you got left? (3) Send amount listed in part 2.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 07:18 by Samuel Warren Comments (0)  


   messageicon "sex is like a restaurant - sometimes you get excellent service, sometimes you get very poor service, and sometimes you just have to settle for self-service"
←Rate | 04-15-2010 07:06 by Cousinky Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a book about failure doesn't sell, does it become a succes?
←Rate | 04-15-2010 04:03 Comments (0)  




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