flinnie Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'flinnie': View All Messages
Page: 60 of 64

   messageicon Does anyone else ever hear their alarm go off in the morning and immediately start rationalizing quitting your job?
←Rate | 08-06-2014 04:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes I wonder if I'm being selfish using my voice to just sing in the car instead of saving the music industry
←Rate | 08-06-2014 17:03 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Punk's not dead. Punk is resting its eyes. Punk works hard all week. Just please, go play quietly and let punk sleep.
←Rate | 08-24-2014 06:10 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I drove a UPS truck there's a 100% chance I would fall out of the truck when I turned corners
←Rate | 09-01-2014 06:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife just nominated me for the "would it kill you to refill the ice trays every once in a while" challenge?
←Rate | 09-06-2014 07:15 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a co-worker asks how your long weekend was, respond with a clever retort like "not long enough" or "MAAAAAN I MISSED YOUR SMELL"
←Rate | 09-11-2014 05:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imagine how creepy the first guy to dress up as a clown must have been, and where did he get the idea?
←Rate | 09-13-2014 10:40 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m glad I’m me, I don’t think anybody else could take it.
←Rate | 09-17-2014 05:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I scream. You scream. Others begin to scream frightened by our screaming. Panic ensues. Riots breakout... next time just ask for ice cream.
←Rate | 09-22-2014 05:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
←Rate | 09-23-2014 05:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I see a beautiful woman with an idiot, I think to myself... this is a pretty good picture of my wife and me
←Rate | 09-28-2014 08:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
←Rate | 09-30-2014 05:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your boss asks why you’re late. Just shrug and say “thug life.” Bosses don’t mess with thug life.
←Rate | 10-06-2014 05:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we're terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
←Rate | 10-10-2014 05:19 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Buy 3 items and get a 9 foot long receipt. That’s the CVS promise.
←Rate | 10-10-2014 21:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to change my profile pic to a pumpkin for Halloween, but it didn't look that much different from my actual head.
←Rate | 10-28-2014 12:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "More power to him" is the polite way to say "What a freakin' wacko".
←Rate | 10-29-2014 18:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I call my fists The Nina and The Pinta because they don't land where I want them to.
←Rate | 10-29-2014 18:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing is more terrifying than making eye contact with the guy running that mall kiosk.
←Rate | 11-05-2014 05:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 06:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left