Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My mother-in-law is a meteorologist. Well, not a meteorologist, but whatever it is called when you complain about the weather 6 times a day.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 13:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 4 year old son is running around saying "Yippie-Kay-Yay" and it's taking everything I've got to keep from yelling "Mother-Fucker!" Yeah, I think I may seen "Die Hard" too many times.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 09:30 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!
←Rate | 05-11-2014 20:48 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 18:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?
←Rate | 08-24-2012 09:28 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just read a story in a magazine that a woman is claiming she was raped by an alien.. Big Deal!.. So was Lady Gaga's mother
←Rate | 03-19-2013 16:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I met a FOOL who has both, his girlfriend and her mother as friends on his Facebook.
←Rate | 08-26-2011 02:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 22:37 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adam and Eve had an ideal relationship. He didn't have to hear about all the men Eve could have married, and she didn't have to hear about how well Adam's mother cooked.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 16:22 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Someone's been eating my porridge!", said Father bear. Mother bear sighed and poured him another bowl. Life was tough and draining for her, now that her husband was suffering from Alzheimer's.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 00:02 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see the mother in law's put up a new profile pic! It's got 23 yikes already!
←Rate | 03-01-2019 06:13 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:35 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 13:31 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
←Rate | 06-20-2009 06:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your mother sat on my glasses and broke them, I guess it's partially my fault, I should of took them off my face first.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 16:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do meteorologists try and educate me on the workings of mother nature?  Dude, just tell me pants or shorts tomorrow...
←Rate | 09-09-2011 01:57 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting snubbed by the left turn arrow at an intersection after waiting your turn is annoying. Getting skipped twice? I will murder you, light! But a third time?! Clearly a valid legal defense for blowing right through that mother f*cker.
←Rate | 09-03-2010 05:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother + my father - condom = COOLEST PERSON ALIVE! :-).
←Rate | 08-17-2011 22:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A little boy examines his privates while in the bath. "Mommy, are these my brains?" His mother says, "Not yet."
←Rate | 09-25-2010 21:20 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
←Rate | 12-12-2009 12:25 by bcj Comments (0)  




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