Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Mother's Day: I'm sorry you almost died during those 36 hours you were pushing me out of your vagina. Take these chocolates I bought for you..
←Rate | 05-08-2015 13:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 22:37 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adam and Eve had an ideal relationship. He didn't have to hear about all the men Eve could have married, and she didn't have to hear about how well Adam's mother cooked.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 16:22 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Someone's been eating my porridge!", said Father bear. Mother bear sighed and poured him another bowl. Life was tough and draining for her, now that her husband was suffering from Alzheimer's.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 00:02 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:35 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 13:31 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your mother sat on my glasses and broke them, I guess it's partially my fault, I should of took them off my face first.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 16:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do meteorologists try and educate me on the workings of mother nature?  Dude, just tell me pants or shorts tomorrow...
←Rate | 09-09-2011 01:57 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting snubbed by the left turn arrow at an intersection after waiting your turn is annoying. Getting skipped twice? I will murder you, light! But a third time?! Clearly a valid legal defense for blowing right through that mother f*cker.
←Rate | 09-03-2010 05:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
←Rate | 06-20-2009 06:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey status messages auto correct, stop tampering with my swear words, you mother forklift.
←Rate | 11-20-2011 23:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother + my father - condom = COOLEST PERSON ALIVE! :-).
←Rate | 08-17-2011 22:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
←Rate | 12-12-2009 12:25 by bcj Comments (0)  


   messageicon A little boy examines his privates while in the bath. "Mommy, are these my brains?" His mother says, "Not yet."
←Rate | 09-25-2010 21:20 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you I'd like to take under my wing like a mother hen. Others of you I'd like to trap between my thighs like the Cougar that I am.
←Rate | 07-26-2012 10:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!" - Mother Nature
←Rate | 01-07-2014 18:18 by SColeman Comments (0)  


   messageicon An Amber Alert has been issued for a tall, African American 26 yr. old who goes by the name of LeBron James. He keeps disappearing for the 4th quarter of the NBA Final games. If seen, please call his mother, Gloria, or her boyfriend, Delonte.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 07:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A blizzard in January, and a tornado in February. I didn't realize how bi polar mother nature really is.
←Rate | 02-28-2011 00:40 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enoug
←Rate | 02-02-2010 21:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Mother Of All storms (Frankenstorm) is heading toward New York City... Trump better get out the hairspray.
←Rate | 10-28-2012 16:01 by BreannaSmith Comments (1)  


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