Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon This is the worst carnival ever. I can't believe they blocked the street off for this. Sir, this is a crime scene.
←Rate | 05-12-2015 13:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wait, don't go. I can ruin it some more.
←Rate | 05-08-2015 02:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon shhhhhh..it's really hard to imagine you're someone else when you talk
←Rate | 05-07-2015 14:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like my kids don't even believe how cool I was in the 90s.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 14:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't let anyone use Earth Day as an excuse to peer pressure you into going outside. Your couch and your bed are both located on Earth too.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 14:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm living proof that misery actually hates company.
←Rate | 04-04-2015 15:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 13:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 12:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "There's strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
←Rate | 03-27-2015 12:10 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If love is a battlefield then I keep dying in basic training.
←Rate | 03-20-2015 12:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Free weed > free drinks
←Rate | 03-20-2015 11:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She says she is surprised to see me but her drawn eyebrows tell a different story.
←Rate | 03-17-2015 13:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon cutting the fat off bacon is like cutting the bacon off bacon
←Rate | 03-10-2015 01:56 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog says that dress is grey.
←Rate | 03-01-2015 12:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be afraid to love again. Just kidding
←Rate | 02-25-2015 11:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stole every word of this status from a dictionary.
←Rate | 02-23-2015 10:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My master plan is just a Post-it note that says “drink more.”
←Rate | 02-22-2015 08:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he's called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
←Rate | 02-18-2015 13:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
←Rate | 02-16-2015 11:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by these FB & T witter quotes attributed to her, Marilyn Monroe sure got smart four decades after she died.
←Rate | 02-16-2015 11:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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