joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." I'm talking to you Twi-hards & Beliebers.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't take compliments well. Or criticism. You know what, just don't talk to me.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon After all these years, I'm surprised nobody at CSI has found the light switch in their office.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon How is lindsay lohan ever gonna find a good woman when she is jail? wait....... this might just work out.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon So excited: my DVD collection of "Hoarders" is almost complete! And on VHS! Also on Blu-ray and 8mm film. And LaserDisc. Where is my cat?
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James chooses DirecTV over Comcast and Dish Network.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite meetings are the ones about the important deadline for work I could be done with if I wasn't in a meeting.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's an update available for my Vuvuzela app on my phone. I bet now, rather than making a noise, it just says "You"re a douchebag!"
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:05 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge
←Rate | 07-08-2010 17:05 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, b*tches"
←Rate | 07-07-2010 22:14 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 5-second rule is real! Earlier I ate a chip that was on the floor for 6.7 seconds, and here I am at the ER.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 21:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's never too late to start secretly playing air guitar.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 21:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've missed you guys like a retard misses the point.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 18:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never getting married. After learning another Bachelorette couple has split, I simply don't know what love is anymore.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 18:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lingerie is just expensive wrapping paper.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 18:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You look like you work out", said no one, to me.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon headed out for a quiet beer. Followed by ten noisy ones...
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's impossible to fool-proof anything because fools are so ingenious.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon there are more important things in life than money. The trouble is, they all cost money.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:51 by Joser Comments (0)  




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