hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't care how old I am. If I lose my mother in a super market I'm going to panic.
←Rate | 11-30-2012 04:57 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 04:56 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm surprised more people don't Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 04:55 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Move your office desk into the elevator and ask people who get on if they have an appointment.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 04:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My retirement plan is pretty much dependent on the Mayans being right.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 04:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon freak people out in public restrooms by saying "come in" when they knock on the stall door
←Rate | 11-27-2012 05:07 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you see someone using a payphone, there is a 97% chance you can buy drugs from them.
←Rate | 11-27-2012 05:07 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you posted that worthless legal disclaimer on your Facebook page, you might also want to spray paint your name on your garbage cans.
←Rate | 11-27-2012 05:06 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accidentally wore a red shirt & khaki pants to Target today &, long story short, I think I have been promoted to assistant manager.
←Rate | 11-13-2012 05:07 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them
←Rate | 11-13-2012 05:07 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Driving would be much more entertaining if there were no yellow lights.
←Rate | 11-13-2012 05:06 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said "4G." My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk.
←Rate | 11-13-2012 05:05 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judge told me I had to go to the DMV to get a "blow and go" I was so excited I ran to the hottest girl at the DMV. Now waiting for a bail bondsman because apparently our definitions of a blow and go are waaaay different
←Rate | 11-08-2012 15:56 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ask my mom to take a picture for me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling “IT'S THE BUTTON ON FRONT!
←Rate | 11-04-2012 10:02 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tought my niece well, when we were carving our pumpkin I heard her wisper to it "that's what happens to snitches"
←Rate | 10-30-2012 09:55 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardest part of halloween is making those skeletons stay in my closet where they belong
←Rate | 10-30-2012 09:54 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon They need to make a commercial for the lottery that's all about a guy using the money for revenge.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 16:59 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 16:58 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 16:58 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't hear the sea when I held a Shell up. I did however get 6 years in jail for armed robbery on a Gas Station
←Rate | 10-24-2012 04:56 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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