Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   I'm playing the Titanic drinking game. Every time you see someone dead you have a shot of vodka!

   I hope the woman of my dreams delivers pizza, otherwise I'm never gonna meet her

   Keep your head high and your middle finger higher!

   I can't believe how strong the winds were last night. I nipped out to get my wife some tampons and got blown into a bar?!

   How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on

   A liar takes forever to explain a simple answer...

   Respect for women, starts with your mother

   Tampons are in the right place, at the wrong time.

   Blood makes you related but loyalty makes you family

   I like the fact that you can see someone's location on their Facebook profile. Because It makes it easier for me to avoid them.

   Tell her she's beautiful instead of hot. She's a woman, not a temperature

   Dating a single mother is like continuing on from somebody else's saved game.

   Sometimes I don't understand women, they can walk around all day in public wearing a bikini but when they catch me looking at them in their bra and underwear, they scream the place down!

   I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you will get it.

   20 Years ago today, me and my wife got married.. And yes you can get less for murder

   If you can't be there for her tears, then don't expect to be around when other parts of her start gushing either...

   When I hear a girl speak German, I automatically think she's a lesbian

   You can't be ugly and play hard to get, your already hard to want.....

   Nothing more awkward then being 10 minutes into a porno and realizing there's no girls in it...

   Some people are only alive in this world because I really don't want to be someone's b!tch in prison