JAB Funny Status Messages

   Led Zeppelin doesn't have to be your favorite band. But if they're not one of your top three, we shouldn't be friends. . .

   A word from our sponsors. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Because it's Thanksgiving and gobble, gobble. . .

   The Definition Of Toilets: The one and only thing Obama is qualified to do, is clean toilets. . .

   I have an eating disorder. It called not starving to death. . .

   There's a closet pervert in each and every one of you. . .

   A single male friend of mine is looking for a woman who can actually suck a golf ball through a garden hose. . .

   I'm so old, I remember the internet when it had no commercials. . .

   Want to keep your man from cheating on you, give him more BJs and make him more sandwiches and reduce nagging by 100%

   I am claiming everything ever written by Author Unknown !

   Before you knew it, the here and now was 30 yrs ago. . .

   Once upon a time a man was told to go f#ck himself and he lived happily everafter. . .

   When emptying email spam folder, why does anyone need to be asked are you sure you want to empty this folder. We do not need to be asked are you sure. Yes I am f#cking sure ! ! !

   The saying goes, there's someone out there for everyone. Maybe your someone is way out there, on another planet. . .

   Some times I just want to control alt delete my life and hit Esc. . .

   I am looking for contributors to the go F#ck yourself foundation I am starting. . .

   Ladies, if you're in competition to get as many friends on your friends list as possible, post naked pictures of yourself. . .

   Ladies, if you're in compitition to get as many friend on your frinds list, post naked pictures of yourself. . .

   Last year it was the ice bucket challenge. This year it's the bucket of hot coals challenge. You go first. . .

   When life hands you lemons. Freeze them until they're rock solid and throw them at people you don't like. . .

   I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he's fired ! !