Czovczov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My emotional status hinges on how long I have to wait to eat again.
←Rate | 02-08-2015 10:42 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I'd like to see a stripper do the "Carlton" on stage.
←Rate | 02-08-2015 09:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon [job interview] "So what are your goals for working here?" To be home by 5
←Rate | 01-31-2015 10:00 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
←Rate | 01-30-2015 01:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Because I'm a gentleman, I'll carry you to the kitchen afterwards so you can make me a sandwich.
←Rate | 01-30-2015 00:39 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are so sensitive that I can't joke around without risking offending you and I have to watch every word I say, in case you might misinterpret it, then we can't be friends.
←Rate | 01-28-2015 01:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon So much anxiety, so little weed!
←Rate | 01-27-2015 12:50 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at 0 mutual friends
←Rate | 01-27-2015 12:36 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
←Rate | 01-25-2015 06:35 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I haven't offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It's in there.
←Rate | 01-24-2015 13:10 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag, but I'm totally going to be the first one shot in any kind of hostage situation.
←Rate | 01-24-2015 11:26 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Take me seriously at your own risk.
←Rate | 01-22-2015 03:32 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless your kids fundraiser is selling whisley, I'm not really interested
←Rate | 01-21-2015 06:53 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The opposite of being happy is being sober.
←Rate | 01-21-2015 06:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "IT'S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
←Rate | 01-18-2015 06:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life is just a series of flight or flight responses.
←Rate | 01-17-2015 14:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon earth has people who have done great things like go to the moon and discover pizza then it has idiots who have spent money on selfie sticks.
←Rate | 01-17-2015 11:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Safe word? It's more likely that you will need a white flag
←Rate | 01-16-2015 23:28 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somebody stop the INTERNET, I want to get off!
←Rate | 01-14-2015 23:31 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon There’s a limit of how close you should be to another man when taking a selfie.
←Rate | 01-07-2015 01:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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