jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dear Customer Service: When are all of your representatives NOT assisting other callers?
←Rate | 07-15-2012 17:21 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Woman's Football League would only be interesting to me if its raining and the uniform are white.
←Rate | 07-15-2012 19:42 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear paranoid ppl who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, if you do find one, what's your plan?
←Rate | 07-17-2012 13:56 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never responded to your foolishness because I still have what you don't want me to have!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 16:05 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing Screams "You're stuck in friend's Zone" like when she tags you as her brother on FB
←Rate | 07-31-2012 03:14 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Either I'm seriously drunnk or gas prices are high again.... I just got pulled over by a cop on a horse!
←Rate | 07-31-2012 04:44 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Micheal Phelps did it again......Smoke weed before swimming, got hungry and hurried up and swimmed to the Golden All-American buffett
←Rate | 07-31-2012 13:12 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone remembers walking far away from your house just to see how good is your wireless home phone reception before it goes out?.....Man did those phones have good battery- life
←Rate | 08-01-2012 15:00 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried cooking with wine tonight, after five glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen
←Rate | 08-02-2012 01:33 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Chik-Fila, doesn't really matters what you all protest for, as long as you EAT MORE CHICKEN!!
←Rate | 08-03-2012 18:19 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon No wonder, the Chinese took the medal in Table Tennis in the olympics....their use to seeing small balls going back n forth.
←Rate | 08-09-2012 00:43 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon If only they had and Olympic event for Facebook, my FB friend would win Gold everytime in the Drama event..
←Rate | 08-09-2012 13:40 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come i'm your best friend all of a sudden when you need money? but you dont remember when I needed a ride?
←Rate | 08-12-2012 11:04 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since I'm sleeping on the couch, Switced my wife's alka seltzer water with red bull and 2 laxative pills, Since I'm sleeping on the couch !!!
←Rate | 08-14-2012 02:20 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since I'm sleeping on the couch, Switced my wife's alka seltzer water with red bull and 2 laxative pills!!! Her shittz going to fly!
←Rate | 08-14-2012 02:20 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Government: Trickling Poverty up, so every one is Equal today......
←Rate | 08-15-2012 16:39 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to pirate and record the Expendables 2, movie, but I fear Chhhhhuuuccckkk Norrrris was there
←Rate | 08-18-2012 00:56 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im on my FACEBREAK!!!! - definition - a week break from FACEBOOK
←Rate | 08-26-2012 17:01 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Danggggit! Lets just put Louisana on Craiglist! Maybe the French can buy it back.
←Rate | 08-29-2012 17:51 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever posted something and before you can even proofread it there's like 50 million likes?
←Rate | 09-04-2012 13:32 by jitney Comments (0)  




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