eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
←Rate | 01-03-2012 17:30 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy with the diesel-powered lawn equipment finished doing what he was doing in the nick of time. I've taken my finger off the trigger....
←Rate | 01-07-2012 13:43 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the weight limit on this roller coaster ??.....Because I am a little over my goal weight right now!!
←Rate | 01-08-2012 23:07 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking my car to get fixed today. I don't need a bunch of little car mouths to feed!
←Rate | 01-09-2012 12:39 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Charlie Sheen says he's not crazy anymore. The voices in his head told him so.
←Rate | 01-09-2012 19:16 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There is nothing like having a midget for a butler.
←Rate | 01-31-2012 20:13 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My father was a professional wrestler. He hit us but did not hit us!!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:18 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies......I am rebound material!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never knew if my father would hit us or the bottle!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:22 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Town so small get mugged buy people you know!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:23 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage should have an expression date!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Texting angry....All CAPPS!!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:27 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the over under on how many times the Bodyguard is on the next few weeks??
←Rate | 02-11-2012 21:45 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mood ring isn't a fashion statement. It is a court order!
←Rate | 02-12-2012 14:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This whole "Cup half empty, Cup half full" argument should state what is IN the cup before people start judging!!
←Rate | 02-17-2012 16:54 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when being polite and holding a door open turns into a "clowns in a car trick"?
←Rate | 04-29-2012 18:43 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cello Green has T-Rex arms.
←Rate | 05-01-2012 22:56 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stevie Wonder's nephew was charged with trying to extort his famous uncle....I guess Stevie never saw that coming!
←Rate | 05-12-2012 10:48 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Latin , Latin smooth as satin que hora es it's Latin time!!"
←Rate | 05-20-2012 15:05 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The older and fatter I get the more my underwear makes me feel like a dolphin trapped in a tuna net.
←Rate | 05-23-2012 23:26 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


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