Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon In a perfect world, men would get the silent treatment anytime they requested it.
←Rate | 11-02-2013 15:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ME: Siri, where did my year go? SIRI: "See Facebook"
←Rate | 11-04-2013 11:02 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Let me make your morning" - coffee
←Rate | 11-05-2013 11:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are born with a gene that allows them to know what the hell is going on in movies.
←Rate | 11-06-2013 06:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only have two feelings, it's either "I'm hungry" or "I shouldn't have eaten this much"
←Rate | 11-06-2013 07:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want to be with someone who isn't crazy but unfortunately I'm only attracted to women.
←Rate | 11-08-2013 00:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbour's cat just menacingly hissed at me for stroking it. Now I finally know how married men feel.
←Rate | 11-08-2013 04:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Liquor stores should deliver to do their part to help with the drunk driving problem.
←Rate | 11-09-2013 13:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think there would be at least one extraterrestrial in a Miss Universe contest.
←Rate | 11-11-2013 08:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's actually pretty easy to win an argument with a woman when you wait until she's not around to have it.
←Rate | 11-11-2013 13:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a man with a pony tail running down the street so I’m guessing there’s an angry iguana somewhere waiting to be fed its dinner.
←Rate | 11-13-2013 12:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
←Rate | 11-16-2013 11:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money and traditional infidelity are still the top 2 reasons for divorce but Facebook can't be far behind.
←Rate | 11-16-2013 12:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so drunk I almost answered my phone.
←Rate | 11-19-2013 11:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon G.I.R.L on the Internet is 'Guy In Real Life.'
←Rate | 11-19-2013 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for sex, I would have quit being a grown-up a long time ago.
←Rate | 11-20-2013 11:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like my date doesn't even care about some of the core problems that faced the software development industry in the mid 90's
←Rate | 11-21-2013 11:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never cut off the minivans, they have nothing to live for.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 06:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day that I don't die is the best day of my life.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 12:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm bored but not "correct people's grammar on Facebook" bored.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 12:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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