BigSarge Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'BigSarge': View All Messages
Page: 6 of 10

   messageicon How do they even grow boneless chicken's?
←Rate | 06-12-2013 03:36 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hopefully because of social networking, I've tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 04:13 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: You left your Facebook account open and-- Me: *bites down on cyanide capsule*
←Rate | 06-13-2013 04:14 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just put cheese spread on a Cheez-It and now I understand quantum physics.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 22:44 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm updating my resume and I need your opinion. Which is a more marketable skill: Awesome high fives or mad rock paper scissors skills?
←Rate | 06-14-2013 13:42 by BigSarge Comments (1)  


   messageicon The baby in the car next to me is either unable to control his arms or hes throwing me gang signs. I'm not taking any chances. **Locks Doors**
←Rate | 06-16-2013 21:31 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon WTF........... Just saw a duck smiling at me like a Facebook girl
←Rate | 06-18-2013 12:04 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I really want is for my self destruction to be televised during "Prime Time".
←Rate | 06-20-2013 23:40 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon My semen glows in the dark. Should come in handy if I'm ever horny and also lost in a cave.
←Rate | 06-20-2013 23:48 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon So one of the kids shouted "TIGGA PLEASE!"..... and that's the story of why my wife doesn't let me watch Winnie The Pooh with the kids anymore.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:50 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Karate Kid would be a shorter movie if Daniel had just bought a gun
←Rate | 06-25-2013 02:22 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never sky dived before, but I have zoomed in REAL FAST on Google Earth!!
←Rate | 06-28-2013 23:20 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stay drunk because it costs so much to start from sober.
←Rate | 06-30-2013 13:51 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where can I buy a couple tumbleweeds? It would look way cool to have a few of them following me around the house
←Rate | 06-30-2013 17:07 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing ruins a good porn like a malnourished donkey
←Rate | 07-01-2013 22:50 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I was as carefree as my Step Son's, picking their noses and then tapping away on MY keyboard!!!!
←Rate | 07-01-2013 22:55 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon You play your Candy Crush. I'll play with myself.
←Rate | 07-02-2013 16:50 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do Mexicans cut their pizza?..... With Little Caesars .... ***drops mic, Harlem shakes off stage***
←Rate | 07-03-2013 12:28 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried slicing fruit mid-air with my samurai sword like a ninja, but the fruit just fell on the floor and the police tasered me in Wal Mart.
←Rate | 07-06-2013 15:49 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon So many things that younger generations aren't able to do now: make prank phone calls, play outside at all hours, tell time, tie shoes.
←Rate | 07-08-2013 21:56 by BigSarge Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left