snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I really have no idea what a Kardashian is but,,,, From what I can gather, it's an exercise bike for basketball players.
←Rate | 09-28-2012 18:22 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if they sold ten-ply toilet paper, I would still fold it at least twice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I have trust issues.
←Rate | 06-21-2013 18:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I glued the TV remote to my wife. I'm expecting her to go missing any second now.
←Rate | 08-06-2013 08:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 10:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The inventor of the doorbell OBVIOUSLY did not own a chihuahua
←Rate | 08-06-2012 12:30 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm ABSOLUTELY positive I'd accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.
←Rate | 09-06-2014 09:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, read, my jokes, like William, Shatner.
←Rate | 09-20-2014 06:33 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon American Idol would be so much better if Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets were the judges.
←Rate | 04-06-2012 17:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man's ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
←Rate | 12-07-2012 16:49 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That's not my waiter
←Rate | 03-26-2013 21:58 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEWS FLASH: Scientists still baffled by Canadians' ability to watch movies, own guns, and play video games,,, but not shoot each other.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 08:13 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Hope I never go to jail,, because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2003.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 22:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so old... I grew up in an era where you had to go to channel 3 to play video games.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 20:08 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing
←Rate | 01-11-2012 17:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because its hard to have fun when you might crap your pants
←Rate | 06-22-2013 22:59 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Any way you can speed this up, officer? I'm obviously in a hurry."
←Rate | 08-02-2013 19:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
←Rate | 09-01-2013 17:22 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon *whispers* ...and here we have a teen loading a washer with clothes--unprovoked... A rare sight, seldom witnessed outside captivity.
←Rate | 09-21-2013 08:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
←Rate | 10-01-2013 07:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to this bathroom stall,,, my ex changed her number again.
←Rate | 10-12-2013 10:47 by snotty Comments (0)  




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