Funny Status Messages Search

X I'm thinking,, If the plot of Fresh Prince had been reversed, and Carlton had to go live in Philly, it probably would have been on HBO

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-30-2012 12:57 by snotty Comments (0)

X Hey Sun-chips way to go,, making a Bio-degradable bag that's so friggin loud my neighbors can hear my junk food addiction,,

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-30-2012 13:05 by snotty Comments (0)

X Have we found all of the great singers in America yet?,, I'm worried we might not have found them all....Geesh

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-30-2012 13:09 by snotty Comments (0)

X I just hit a guy in a Smart Car with my bicycle.......................he didn't make it

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-30-2012 20:17 by snotty Comments (0)

X Anyone checked lately to see if there are still other web sites?

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-30-2012 21:20 by snotty Comments (0)

X If I die in my sleep, my programmable coffee-maker is still going to make a full pot in the morning.... Someone will appreciate that.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-30-2012 21:24 by snotty Comments (0)

X Hey,, adorable couples who constantly profess your love for each other via my news feed,,, learn how to text.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 06:19 by snotty Comments (0)

X There is a person out there for everyone.... Your person just happens to be five cats

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 06:23 by snotty Comments (0)

X Ladies,, if you've ever accidentally called a fax machine,,,, you know exactly what listening to your stories sounds like to men.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 08:29 by snotty Comments (0)

X If this burglar can avoid tripping & bashing his skull open while my cats circle his feet,,, I'll help him load my belongings into his car.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 12:48 by snotty Comments (0)

X Had a mishap while making coffee just now that is best explained through interpretive dance...

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 14:52 by snotty Comments (0)

X Karl Marx was wrong,, Religion is not the opiate of the masses... Facebook is.. Also Angry Birds...and Draw Something

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 15:16 by snotty Comments (0)

X TIP: A quick way to get your kids out of bed is to go in their room and shout, "What the Heck?!! There are deer in our backyard!! "

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 15:32 by snotty Comments (0)

X I can't quote it verbatim,, but the mimes have a saying that goes something like this:

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 21:31 by snotty Comments (0)

X You're supposed to wash arugula before throwing it away,, right?

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 21:32 by snotty Comments (0)

X I'm pretty sure Subway sandwiches increase in value after the sandwich artist dies.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 21:34 by snotty Comments (0)

X I never win at Scrable

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 21:37 by snotty Comments (0)

X Me??? Oh, just replanting these carrots and onions... We're catch-and-release vegetarians.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-31-2012 21:47 by snotty Comments (0)

X I'm joking about 90% of the time & the other 10% is me being condescending.. Do I need to explain the difference to you?

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 07:17 by snotty Comments (0)

X I bet all the girls from other planets think the Miss Universe contest is rigged.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 07:21 by snotty Comments (0)