minnie haha Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Yo, Australia! Is the apocalypse happening? I need to know if the orgy I'm currently having is validated or if it will just make my husband upset.....
←Rate | 12-20-2012 20:09 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did I already do my deja vu joke?
←Rate | 03-04-2013 19:34 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a cooking show, it would be called “Do You Smell Something Burning?”
←Rate | 01-07-2013 19:02 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I survived the Mayan Apocalypse and all I got was this lousy hangover.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 12:10 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you have to stick your finger in a few before you find the one that's right for you.... and try to stay away from the ones that already have teethmarks in them....
←Rate | 02-13-2013 22:07 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon You call it blacking out. I call it a booze nap.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 17:16 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self: Mr. Tequila and Mr. Keyboard do not play well together
←Rate | 01-22-2013 23:38 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon The next time you come across a Mayan making a calendar, leave him the f*** alone!
←Rate | 12-21-2012 11:12 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of course I’ve had my servings of fruit today. Coconut rum, pineapple-orange juice and maraschino cherries. There’s a bonus for combo fruits, right?
←Rate | 02-08-2013 23:06 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and a big-a$$ed pitcher of martinis as “Plan B”
←Rate | 03-25-2013 23:05 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon The stupid Facebook Timeline is completely ruining the whole "Drink Till You Forget" concept. Now I have a drinking problem AND get to remember everything.
←Rate | 04-18-2013 11:01 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have been thoroughly researching the native Potatoes of Couch and have become part of their tribe.
←Rate | 04-08-2013 21:51 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gin makes you Sin. And it's also an easier word to rhyme than vodka or bourbon.
←Rate | 09-02-2012 22:42 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bourbon is the elixer of the gods. Therefore, I'm not an alcoholic - I'm divine.
←Rate | 12-30-2012 13:51 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon In deference to any Chinese hackers who may looking at my posts: for the remainder of the evening, I will be using ROR (Raff out Roud) instead of LOL for your convenience. You’re welcome.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 21:44 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, so maybe practicing hypnotism in front of the mirror wasn't the smartest idea..
←Rate | 02-17-2013 17:45 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, it turns out my eye patch is actually something called a "Jock Strap" & suddenly I'm not allowed into the Pirate Party.
←Rate | 06-15-2012 13:21 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a thankless job, but apparently I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
←Rate | 04-09-2013 12:48 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon This man's so impressed with my driving that he got next to me just to show me he's not wearing a ring. Thanks hon, but wrong finger..
←Rate | 12-26-2012 14:15 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m drinking something. I'll give you a hint: It starts with a B and rhymes with....um..... “beer.”
←Rate | 02-10-2013 18:40 by minnie haha Comments (0)  



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