eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon ‎"My fingers smell like cheeseburger" is a statement that is bound to confuse others unless prefaced with a statement about having just eaten a cheeseburger. Otherwise, they just look at you like you're dirty.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 16:34 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There were a lot of people who thought he was going to end up like his brother. I wasn't one of them. Really, what are the chances he has another brother who runs over him in a car.
←Rate | 04-19-2013 22:52 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: What does an elephant use for tampons? A: Sheep
←Rate | 09-22-2010 11:59 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember the first habit I picked up. The other nuns just stared in horror!
←Rate | 12-14-2011 17:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to all you that could join my FLASH MOB in London. WE DID IT!!!
←Rate | 07-27-2012 20:52 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like Casey Anthony will be available to baby sit my children tonight afterwards!!
←Rate | 07-05-2011 14:31 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when being polite and holding a door open turns into a "clowns in a car trick"?
←Rate | 04-29-2012 18:43 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Asked my teacher if I was interrupting. She said, "No, I'm just grading some cheese!!"
←Rate | 10-13-2011 00:59 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The kids are nestled all snug in their bed, while Stanley's wifes on her knees giving him.. a foot massage!!
←Rate | 12-24-2011 20:28 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The women's US gymnastics team is awesome! I have never seen more beautiful floor exercises, high bars or labia majora in my life.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 22:37 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made a hamburger so big tonight the top bun looked like a Yarmulke.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Word of advice, Saying "Nice Hand" at an amputee poker fund raiser is NOT a good idea!
←Rate | 12-28-2010 23:48 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because I pet your dog doesn't mean I want to talk to you, get over yourself smoking hot girl!
←Rate | 03-02-2013 23:18 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey someone tell the Sun to stop showing off!!
←Rate | 07-05-2012 19:05 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do feel that it is appropriate for us all to get on our knees and thank the good Lord that spiders do not fly.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 21:10 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I line Dance just so I can kick people and get away with it
←Rate | 06-14-2011 01:43 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Then the Mermaid looked at me and kissed me.. I stopped her & said, " I can't"...."Something smells fishy here"
←Rate | 10-14-2010 08:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Charlie Sheen says he's not crazy anymore. The voices in his head told him so.
←Rate | 01-09-2012 19:16 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know breast feeding a baby turtle is not as easy as they make it out to be!
←Rate | 03-25-2011 20:10 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Town so small get mugged buy people you know!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:23 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  




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