StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn't have any pictures of me either.
←Rate | 05-22-2014 14:01 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The average person has sex 89 times a year. This is gonna be one hell of a week.
←Rate | 12-26-2014 22:07 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."
←Rate | 11-25-2014 00:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't glare at me lady! You're the one who named your kid Marco then yelled his name in this store!
←Rate | 06-13-2012 19:26 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish hangovers and orgasms could swap durations.
←Rate | 07-19-2013 01:56 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It's so fun to watch them freak out!
←Rate | 07-16-2012 13:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger... at least one of them anyway.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 12:15 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics' album at 4am.
←Rate | 07-12-2012 18:29 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are they called One Direction? Looks to me like they go both ways.
←Rate | 10-18-2012 20:33 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found out c.ock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
←Rate | 05-16-2014 02:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever you think your job sucks, remember; At least you're not the guy, at Instagram, that has to search for and delete all the d!ck pics.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 20:25 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon These spaghetti-o's taste like I don't get paid until tomorrow.
←Rate | 11-30-2012 10:24 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1920: "May I have this dance?" 1950: "Want to go to the drive-in?" 1980: "What's your sign?" 2012: "Here's a picture of my pe**s."
←Rate | 01-03-2013 10:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I'm sexy" I then wait at green lights 'til I feel better about myself.
←Rate | 05-22-2014 19:33 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tequila probably won't fix your problems, but it's worth a shot.
←Rate | 05-22-2014 14:00 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pregnant Kim Kardashian is moaning in a magazine, "Nothing looks good on me" I disagree. A grand piano dropped from a considerable height would.
←Rate | 05-13-2013 19:19 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's longer than most relationships these days? This status.
←Rate | 09-13-2012 13:04 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love how people b*tch on h3re about stealing a stat from a webs!te or a person. Like, WTF are you doing on T Js anyway? I'm pretty sure your h3re to steal a stat.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 16:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a call today from a distorted voice saying "Five grand in cash, or we kill your wife" Both options were tempting, but I decided to take the money.
←Rate | 05-23-2013 11:59 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter. He runs Facebook.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 20:41 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  



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