Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wish people would be honest in their FB posts, like, "Happy birthday to my slightly less than average looking kind of friend, Jenny."
←Rate | 08-16-2013 20:21 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn you, books on shelves that don't activate a secret door.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:27 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's impossible to play the Wii without looking like you're competing in a relay race for the Special Olympics.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:41 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever see someone in a hurry and they do that last little mad dash to their final destination? How much time does that save.....2.3 seconds?
←Rate | 05-27-2011 20:25 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Swimming in the pool counts as a shower, right?!?
←Rate | 07-19-2014 10:24 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon So....she said I was as smooth as Ken. That's a good thing, right?!?
←Rate | 11-10-2010 16:58 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon You'd think the only people on Earth who could teleport would be working for the military instead of State Farm.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 20:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't say that I'm really a bad dancer more like....overly Caucasian.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just finished everything that I had on my To Do list for today which was just a drawing of a set of boobs on a Post It note.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:38 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.
←Rate | 09-21-2010 22:09 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can workout and brag about your muscles all you want but it still isn't going to make you any taller.
←Rate | 07-19-2014 10:19 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if clouds look down on us and say stuff like "That one's shaped like an idiot."
←Rate | 09-25-2014 12:05 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walmart Guy: Sir, it should take about thirty minutes for your oil change. If you want to do some shopping, we will call your name out over the loudspeaker when we are finished. Me: If you want to live, you will not call my name out over the loudspeaker.
←Rate | 09-28-2013 14:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon it me or are 75% of the people that use handicap parking spots not suffering from a handicap at all???
←Rate | 07-27-2010 22:21 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's fun: Knock on random doors and say, "Hi, my name is Current Resident, and I've been told you're the jerk who has been opening all my mail."
←Rate | 07-21-2013 19:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The grass may be greener on the other side, but you'll eventually have to mow it:)
←Rate | 05-20-2010 09:23 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know....spooning leads to forking right?
←Rate | 11-13-2010 21:22 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a white person, I was offended on just how "white" the cast in Twilight Eclipse were.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 11:46 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The saddest part about my neighbor demanding I not serve booze to her kids is finding out they're not cool dwarfs who like to party.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 21:09 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first rule of Thesaurus Club is you don't talk about, speak of, mention, discuss, or chat about Thesaurus Club.
←Rate | 07-21-2013 19:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  



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