Markf Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon happy that President Obama recently visited India. Maybe now we can start sending jobs in Congress offshore.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 09:49 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon letdown. Crop circles just don't have the same mystique in backyard grass. (mood: disappointed)
←Rate | 04-10-2010 22:17 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Casey Kasem found safe today in Washington state. Overheard nearby: "And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you darn kids."
←Rate | 05-15-2014 21:31 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon once watched a movie for 30 minutes waiting for a commercial so he could grab a snack -- then remembered it was a DVD.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 23:04 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting ready for May 21st (this Friday) which is Talk Like Yoda Day...practicing we should be, hmm?
←Rate | 05-18-2010 10:04 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part of paying $49 for this new toy for my son's Christmas present is knowing how happy some other kid will be in 3 months when we donate it to a thrift store
←Rate | 12-16-2017 07:39 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to see somethine scary? When your house is full of teenagers for the holidays, unplug your wi-fi.
←Rate | 12-19-2017 11:09 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we didn't have phones and had to go back to writing notes to each other on paper the hardest part would be drawing all the emojis
←Rate | 12-22-2017 17:51 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hawaiian Airlines is now offering cheaper flights to Honolulu, with only a single stop to change wheel wells at San Jose.
←Rate | 04-27-2014 22:53 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am waiting for the Fitbit upgrade that lets me buy 5000 extra steps
←Rate | 12-22-2017 17:57 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering what Hugo Chavez is thinking right about now.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 09:05 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to point out that it's not my fault that I never could learn to accept responsibility.
←Rate | 10-28-2011 11:02 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wondering if there are any cold days in Hell, and if so does Satan slam his fist and say, "okay what band just got back together?"
←Rate | 11-07-2017 11:43 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon This just in: North Korea has sent a fax to threaten Seoul 'mercilessly without notice.' Bet Seoul is really scared -- back in 1982.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 10:58 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Lindsay Lohan bitten by snake while on vacation in Thailand" I can't get my head around how a snake can be that organized
←Rate | 01-02-2018 20:06 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not sure what this might mean, but you can re-arrange the letters in Happy New Year to spell Wary Ye Happen.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 17:39 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait for Amazon's new Blackmail service, where you hush money for that thing Alexa overheard
←Rate | 12-13-2017 09:34 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes the Hide button so much that he is now working on one for the laundry.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 07:14 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can finally join the crowd that says THE BOOK WAS BETTER now that most movies are about comic book heroes
←Rate | 12-01-2017 22:58 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon In every crowd there's that guy that used to work in an Inspirational Poster factory.
←Rate | 02-28-2014 16:33 by markf Comments (0)  


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