Jiffy Pop Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Some critics say Governor Christie isn't fit to hold office. They should just widen all the doorways where he goes to work. Problem solved.
←Rate | 01-22-2014 07:46 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♪♫ I'm just a little silhouetto of a man... Got a song? Got a song stuck in your head right now? ♪♫
←Rate | 05-23-2014 00:22 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Beiber's publicist reports that Justinwant to change his name to "Bizzle" to increase his street cred. However music industry insiders say his new name will more than likely be "Justinutha Lonelynizzle"
←Rate | 06-05-2014 11:44 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon The following statement is true: the previous statement is false.
←Rate | 12-03-2013 15:11 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cooking with cheese is so awesome, even when it's the only ingredient the recipe calls for.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 04:01 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always imagine women have sex like they dance, This is why Line Dancing is so disturbing to me.
←Rate | 12-29-2013 23:36 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Harvard researchers now claim that "eating boogers are good for you" adding they are a "rich reservoir" of bacteria. Yeah well, so is toilet water, but that don't mean I'm drinkin' any.
←Rate | 05-06-2017 03:43 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided I wanted solid abs this year for Christmas. Bought all solid milk chocolate Santas instead of hollow ones.
←Rate | 12-04-2014 16:32 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a guy, the hardest thing about shopping for pants is asking the clerk if they make your butt look fat.
←Rate | 11-13-2013 23:57 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm amazed at the high cost of meat lately. I went to the grocery store to buy a beef roast but sadly discovered that they don't have lay away.
←Rate | 03-11-2014 02:06 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well I'm planning to do something tomorrow, as long as I have totally finished doing nothing from today. I really like being completely done with nothing which really says something about my dedication to nothing.
←Rate | 01-02-2014 20:22 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't had a complete stranger high five or wave at me in a really long time. Time to put on a Nutella costume and walk through the Mall again.
←Rate | 01-21-2014 00:38 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet men with "Chest!cles" really hate singing ♪♫ "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."♪♫
←Rate | 12-18-2013 08:36 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I kept this status nice and short so it would be just like me. My "Eye Roll Sense" is tingling.
←Rate | 05-23-2014 00:18 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought they said it was a "Joint Session". No bongs, no puff-puff-pass...hmph, joint session my @ss.
←Rate | 02-28-2017 23:44 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Kim you're a pretty bride and all, but Beyonce would look better... " (The fear of hearing this is why Beyonce just turned down Kim Kardashian's request that she'd be one of the bridesmaids)
←Rate | 01-08-2014 16:21 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever noticed that the people you'd like to say "Go to H ell!" to are almost always the kind of people who'd ask for detailed directions?
←Rate | 06-18-2014 01:33 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apprently Screech will stab you to make you screech if you call him "Screech" in a saloon. Now I'm wondering how many Screech fans are in prison who would like to make Screech screech.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 22:05 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jimmy cracked corn and no one cared about it so much that they've been singing about it ever since.
←Rate | 05-23-2014 00:14 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to post a story about how I used to love drinking gallons and gallons of iced tea in the 80's. Then I realized, no one wants to hear me complain about the freezing temperatures outside..
←Rate | 12-30-2013 21:31 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  



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