JBabcock Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A Doctor working in a Nursing Home found that 90% of his patients were really concerned about laxatives. The rest could give a sh!t.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 05:25 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone talks about a Smartalec. Sadly the Dumbalecs remain unmentioned.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 05:54 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most husbands often fantasize about Googling their Twitter on their wife's Facebook. Married reality for me is that she wont even look at Myspace anymore.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 08:57 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that when your not supposed to laugh everything is HILARIOUS?
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:34 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon A true pervert can tell always tell you about the hottest centerfold that he has ever come across.
←Rate | 09-09-2011 14:26 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow Pepsi didnt put "Under God" on their new Pledge of Allegiance Can. They don't want to offend any one with the phrase. Well Pepsi I promise not to give you any coins or bills with "In God We Trust" on them. I dont want to offend you or anything.
←Rate | 09-09-2011 23:49 by JBabcock Comments (1)  


   messageicon The 12th beer of a 12 pack always tastes a little bit like I'm calling off tomorrow.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 08:03 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever coined the phrase "The Buck stops here" has obviously never ever carried my poor wallet!
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon "When life handed ME lemonaid I turned it into Hard Lemonaid"- Mike
←Rate | 09-13-2011 12:51 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon All my Wargaming Buddies need to keep this in mind: The game is just ga without me..
←Rate | 08-20-2011 11:46 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Restaraunt pagers for long waits can be fun. Just ask to use the toilet while waiting then apologize to the Hostess for dropping it in the really messy toilet as youre seated. Note the look on her face and have fun reliving that moment as you finally eat
←Rate | 09-06-2011 03:11 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Professional Boxers ever tell their friends that they are "as pleased as punch."
←Rate | 09-09-2011 13:59 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon It cracks me up that most people who say "you don't know sh!t from Shinola" don't know what hell Shinola is in the first place.
←Rate | 09-09-2011 14:37 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Product Surveys suggest 4 out of 5 women will use any brand of facial tissue to blow there noses. The other one is just picky.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 05:02 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon The board game "Sorry' has done nothing but help several generations of Americans say that particular word like a true smart@ss.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 08:20 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bazaar Magazine's new cover features Lady Gaga on it without any makeup or crazy wigs on. P Diddy says she needs to change her name like he did. Might I suggest Lady Gag Gag?
←Rate | 09-07-2011 14:48 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm amazed at how much I reminisce about you, especially when I'm dropping a load.
←Rate | 09-11-2011 00:29 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I realized that a bus stops at a bus station and a train stops at a train station, I finally understood why my boss calls his desk a "Work Station".
←Rate | 09-12-2011 06:40 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Told one of my favorite co-workers she drew her eyebrows on a little too high one morning a few years back. I've never forgotten how surprised she looked.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 15:20 by Jbabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the phrase "Cop an Attitude" is totally ironic considering most cops I've ever come across have sh*tty attitudes.
←Rate | 09-09-2011 14:22 by JBabcock Comments (0)  



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