JAKE Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
←Rate | 10-29-2017 01:37 by JAKE Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't drink and drive, you could spill the beer in your car.
←Rate | 04-20-2009 10:41 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon During my vacation, I learned alot about my self. The main thing I learned was, not to take another vacation.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 21:36 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whife ask what's the thing about a bj. I said the five minutes of silence.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 20:17 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Rude is saying STFU. Polite is saying please STFU.
←Rate | 11-03-2017 21:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon 's Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 07:34 by jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Make sure to put the letter "L" in the word clocks when you google grandfather clocks.
←Rate | 01-27-2018 18:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon How did cavemen meet women? They went clubbing.
←Rate | 12-27-2017 18:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a wife's deadbeat husband died. She had him cremated and his ashes placed in a 24 hour, hour-glass. He's now working 24/7 for eternity.
←Rate | 10-12-2017 02:28 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog is not a good guard dog, so I replaced him. I really feel stupid barking at the postman.
←Rate | 02-10-2018 17:23 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon My wife is so fat, she eats a snack between snacks.
←Rate | 10-16-2017 18:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is so fat, that she only needs a cup of water in the tub to take a bath.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 19:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there are three ducks on a pond and you shoot one how many would be left on the pond? None. The other two would fly away after hearing the gun shot.
←Rate | 10-14-2017 22:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a human cannibal is the only job where you can be fired evey day and still keep your job :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 20:54 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Neighbor are the only one who lissen to both side of an argument.
←Rate | 01-11-2018 20:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a bladder infection, "urine" trouble.
←Rate | 01-20-2018 21:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Silence is golden. Unless you have a house full of young kids.
←Rate | 10-05-2017 14:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last Halloween night while at a bus stop. I saw a priest, a nun and a prostitute pass buy. Still don't know if they were wearing a costume for Halloween or not.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 23:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When we first ment on a blind date my girlfriend wasn't that interested in me. Untill she saw me lick my eyebrows.
←Rate | 01-17-2018 21:02 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn't pay their wifi bill.
←Rate | 11-09-2017 06:56 by Jake Comments (0)  



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