Funny Status Messages Search

X says This Christmas, let's put misteltoe in our back pockets so all the people who hate us can kiss our..."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-17-2010 23:29 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I just received a letter from my bank that said I am approved for a loan and a line of credit. Somebody, somewhere, made a huge mistake."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 14:18 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I have ADHD. It's like ADD except the picture quality is phenomenal."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 14:22 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser!

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 14:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I feel sorry for people who don't drink; when they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 14:29 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Don't you hate it when people start a whole conversation off you're status? C'mon guys, get a WALL!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 18:56 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 18:57 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is It's tough to judge nonverbal cues from someone with an eyepatch. Did that pirate just wink at me or are they blinking?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 19:00 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Nothing's more satisfying than when "the one that got away" turns into "whew, dodged that bullet."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 19:02 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is ‎I don't remember anything from last night. Somebody must've put something in my drink". Yeah. If this was a game of Clue I'd have to go with "the bartender, In the club, with the vodka."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 19:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is if I sneeze and you're sitting next to me, it is acceptable to bless me. If I sneeze and you're 50 feet across the room from me, no need to shout at me unless you're the pope."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 19:06 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is it just me, or are 80% of the faces in the "people you may know feature" on Facebook, people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 19:09 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X if Winter was alive, I would hunt it down and kill it..."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2010 19:12 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is The first Monday night game in Detroit in almost 10 years and the Lions aren't even playing in it!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-12-2010 12:43 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is just wanted to let everybody know that she is Okay! I know it scared me on the radio when I first heard the rumors, But I Called her and she is fine.. My Grandma did not get run over by a Reindeer!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-19-2010 18:49 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is when you get pulled over for a D.U.I quickly pull off the lable off of the beer and stick it on ur forehead and tell the officer you havn't been drinking ur on the patch!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-23-2010 14:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X placing myself in "TIME OUT" until I am able to play nice with others! Until then, don't piss me off because I have nothing to lose being in Time Out already!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-28-2010 01:57 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X If you dug a hole through the center of the earth and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-03-2011 18:37 by Dylan Bosch Comments (1)

X is Pandora tells me what music I like, Netflix tells me what movies I like.. Refrigerator: Why are you such a slacker?!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-03-2011 18:38 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is it just me, or is each "next big thing" getting less and less big and nexty, and a lot more thingy?

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-03-2011 18:39 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)