Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I can tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 18 minutes
←Rate | 10-19-2012 15:48 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't remember pushing "6" three times to get the letter "O", you're too young for me to text with.
←Rate | 07-12-2012 07:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Appropriately, Gaddaffi was killed by a rebel fighter standing in the sunroof of a VW van.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 12:52 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's observe a moment of silence for all the black women who don't have a Q or an apostrophe in their first name.
←Rate | 08-09-2012 07:38 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most inappropriate time to tell someone they have the "Moves Like Jagger" is during a seizure.
←Rate | 01-09-2012 14:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, I cant take it anymore. Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
←Rate | 10-01-2012 18:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon How are there 45 shows about storage units and 23 about pawn shops and not a single show about women doing yoga?
←Rate | 08-21-2012 12:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a girl in cutoff jean shorts so unbelievable short that you could see private parts sticking out the bottom of mine.
←Rate | 05-16-2013 14:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, just heard this on a radio... "Up next is Justin Bieber's Boyfriend." My suspicions are confirmed.
←Rate | 04-14-2012 18:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a good thing most mens rooms have changing tables because sometimes I need to lay down after I poop.
←Rate | 05-05-2012 09:34 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doesn't North Korea understand that these grand threats will result in a harsh musical rebuke from Toby Keith?
←Rate | 01-24-2013 12:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon the ring of a home phone is becoming the whistle of a steam train+
←Rate | 03-02-2012 14:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ugh stupid cold weather totally stole my idea to get a lot of attention today.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 20:56 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fall is fast approaching. Time to sew all my jean legs back on.
←Rate | 08-22-2013 19:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont be jealous of me... If you had to walk a mile in my shoes, you'd probably need a year of therapy
←Rate | 05-08-2012 18:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know 'yer a DRUNK when: You have to go to court to find out what happened !
←Rate | 03-31-2012 17:24 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I refuse to believe there's enough happiness in the world to justify anyone sticking magnetic daisies on their car.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 13:02 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My definition of clean living is mixing my Jack and Coke with my pinky since it's touched less gross stuff than my other fingers.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 01:00 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you plan your own birthday party, you really don't have that much to celebrate.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 01:08 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon ┐('.'┐) ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ (┌'.')┌ Cause this is Thriiiiiiilleeeeeeer
←Rate | 10-31-2012 16:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  



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