Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Don't worry if your job is small and your rewards are few. Remember the mighty oak was once a nut like you!
←Rate | 04-19-2010 05:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Deal of the century: Iceland took billions of Euros from the EU, and instead of paying them back in cash, they are returning them with ASH.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 04:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to legend, the only way to stop the volcano in Iceland is to sacrifice Lady Gaga and Britney Spears at same time.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 03:37 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Remember, the next time Iceland says "pull my finger" ignore it
←Rate | 04-19-2010 02:38 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not that big on Volcanic Ash... I'm more of a Volcanic boob man!
←Rate | 04-18-2010 23:53 by geez Comments (0)  


   messageicon (O)ne (B)ig (A)ss (M)istake (A)merica
←Rate | 04-18-2010 23:39 Comments (1)  


   messageicon this just in...authorities have photographic evidence of George Bush turning a huge Icelandic Volcano Valve in his back yard,,,,I knew it...
←Rate | 04-18-2010 23:05 by JG Comments (0)  


   messageicon My night and shining armor, ending up being a retard in tin foil;)
←Rate | 04-18-2010 23:02 by ANGELA Comments (0)  


   messageicon here for you...but not now I am playing video games.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 22:45 by awesomecat Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like fat girls, they need lovin' too. Unfortunately most Guys won't repost this.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 22:43 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember the good old days before reality tv when you actually needed talent to be a celiberty. Hey Spencer and Heidi, I'm looking in your direction! And lets not forget you Mss Tequila!
←Rate | 04-18-2010 22:23 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon What did all these desperate people do to get laid before the internet?
←Rate | 04-18-2010 22:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Dad is taking ownership of my phone for a day so if you could refrain from sending me texts like "F&ck me gently with a chainsaw"(2:30am) then that would be fantastic
←Rate | 04-18-2010 21:18 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not your knight in shining armor.... I'm more like a jackass covered in aluminum foil
←Rate | 04-18-2010 20:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Peter Griffin doesn't look so stupid now with his volcano insurance.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 19:44 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend just introduced me to a Money Making Scheme that guarantees a 100% payout. It's called a job.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 19:40 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should have taken the red pill. Damn.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 17:56 by @pipsiae Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb
←Rate | 04-18-2010 16:47 by s e l l e r s 8 2 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what really gets on my nerves? Skin.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 16:46 by s e l l e r s 8 2 Comments (0)  


   messageicon used to be an aethist. Then I found out I am God....
←Rate | 04-18-2010 16:08 by samdave69 Comments (0)  




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