Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5993 of 6367
Don't worry if your job is small and your rewards are few. Remember the mighty oak was once a nut like you!
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04-19-2010 05:57
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Deal of the century: Iceland took billions of Euros from the EU, and instead of paying them back in cash, they are returning them with ASH.
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04-19-2010 04:03
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According to legend, the only way to stop the volcano in Iceland is to sacrifice Lady Gaga and Britney Spears at same time.
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04-19-2010 03:37
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Remember, the next time Iceland says "pull my finger" ignore it
I'm not that big on Volcanic Ash... I'm more of a Volcanic boob man!
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04-18-2010 23:53 by geez
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(O)ne (B)ig (A)ss (M)istake (A)merica
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04-18-2010 23:39
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this just in...authorities have photographic evidence of George Bush turning a huge Icelandic Volcano Valve in his back yard,,,,I knew it...
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04-18-2010 23:05 by JG
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My night and shining armor, ending up being a retard in tin foil;)
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04-18-2010 23:02 by ANGELA
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here for you...but not now I am playing video games.
I like fat girls, they need lovin' too. Unfortunately most Guys won't repost this.
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04-18-2010 22:43 by The FRED
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I remember the good old days before reality tv when you actually needed talent to be a celiberty. Hey Spencer and Heidi, I'm looking in your direction! And lets not forget you Mss Tequila!
What did all these desperate people do to get laid before the internet?
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04-18-2010 22:00
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My Dad is taking ownership of my phone for a day so if you could refrain from sending me texts like "F&ck me gently with a chainsaw"(2:30am) then that would be fantastic
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04-18-2010 21:18 by paulb808
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I'm not your knight in shining armor.... I'm more like a jackass covered in aluminum foil
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04-18-2010 20:00
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Peter Griffin doesn't look so stupid now with his volcano insurance.
My friend just introduced me to a Money Making Scheme that guarantees a 100% payout. It's called a job.
I should have taken the red pill. Damn.
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04-18-2010 17:56 by @pipsiae
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Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb
You know what really gets on my nerves? Skin.
used to be an aethist. Then I found out I am God....
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04-18-2010 16:08 by samdave69
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