Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   No mask on your face, you big disgrace, spreading your germs all over the place. Freddie Mercury,

   Wats d difference between Las Vegas n Wuhan..wat happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

   "Alloweth me, I shan't be damned To probe around your lovely clam." - Spongebob Shakespeare

   For the first time since 1945, the Scripps National Spelling Bee has been cancul... cancill... cansi... called off.

   Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.

   The most unrealistic part of The Harry Potter books is that teenage boys have an invisibility cloak but aren’t constantly using it to watch the girls of Hogwarts when they are naked in the showers.

   Time to take off you Hoser. God speed Bob and Doug Mckenzie

   A Short Story: Once upon a time, a man asked a woman to marry him. She said no and they lived happily ever after.

   On the bright side, All the rioters are wearing mask.

   Congratulations to the astronauts that left Earth today. Good choice.

   Stealing TVs and looting stores is NOT justice.

   So riots are part of phase one of the reopening?

   To the austronauts left for space today, can you bring back another planet?

   Looting continues across the country. Police report no work boots stolen yet.

   "Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam

   Somewhere Dr. Fauci is screaming that we must limit the stores to 10 looters at a time.

   Thinking of getting a portable hand held air horn to help remind people not wearing a mask to keep away from me.

   Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be looters. Because the mamas who let their babies grow up to be cowboys are gonna have them kick your babies' sorry a$$es.

   eharmony just matched me with a dozen donuts

   A bar and a bra , both drive men crazy when they open .